Konosuba Yorimichi Vol. 4 Chapter 2: Watching over the advanced classes!

Credits

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Kono Subarashii Sekai ni Shukufuku Wo! Yorimichi 4-Kai Me! by Natsume Akatsuki

Illustrations by Kurone Mishima.

Originally published by Kadokawa on February 28th, 2026.

English translation by H. Berry


Upcoming chapters will be posted on Patreon and Ko-Fi first!


 

Chapter 2: Watching over the advanced classes!

 

Part 1

 

“No, this one’s better!”

While I hid among the trees, Kazuma suddenly raised his voice.

“A sequel is guaranteed to be better than something brand new! I only watch new stuff after it’s been for a while and reviews are good!”

Megumin fired back, just as loudly. “What are you talking about, Kazuma? That’s cowardly! We should be trendsetters, not mindless sheep! We must create trends, be pioneers!”

The two were loudly arguing about what play to see in front of the crowded theater, completely oblivious to everyone around them.

“You said that the other day and we ended up watching trash! ‘I was kicked out of the legendary party for being a loser, but after awakening the true power of a NEET, I discovered I really am a loser!?’ I should’ve realized from the title alone! You made me waste my time and money!”

“I wanted to see that because the NEET loser in the title reminded me of someone!”

Megumin, if you phrase it like that, it sounds like you’re saying you like someone.

And obviously Kazuma can’t pick on that. Dumbo.

“You mean me!? Stop lumping me with NEETs!”

“You haven’t gone on an adventure in ages! I wouldn’t be surprised if your class changed from Adventurer to NEET!”

“It’s not as if your adventurer card says Explosion Wizard! Besides, I don’t go on quests because I don’t need to, I already have more than enough money! I’m retired, not a NEET!”

Yeah, I agree with that. Otherwise, I’d also be considered a NEET. I simply live a life of leisure off my pension.

I’m just someone who worked to the bone fighting for this country, suffered terrible injuries, and retired to this peaceful town.

“That’s just a fancy way of calling yourself a NEET! And retirement? Teenagers that just waste their time are nothing but NEETs!”

“No! I live a relaxed life with money I earned through hard work! I am not a NEET! I don’t care what you think!”

I’m a healthy twenty something living a simple life, but given everything I went through I get to be called a retired veteran.

Not a soldier, of course.

I worked in intelligence.

“Listen, stop wasting time! I want to see ‘The Millionth Proposal[1]’! I want to see a romance play!”

“Nah, let’s watch ‘Dance away, Potemkin[2]!’ I know you liked Baron Potemkin’s stories, you have a bunch on your shelf!”

Megumin likes Baron Potemkin, huh? Me too.

Those stories have everything, love, conflict, mysteries, twists. Solving them feels so satisfying.

“Oh, funny you remember that, seeing how you rarely go to my room.”

“I just like all kinds of books. But titles like Beauty and the Beast King and Sleeping Beauty Witch really make me question your taste.”

Kazuma knows Megumin’s bookshelf suspiciously well.

“Beauty and the Beast King is an exhilarating romance where love blossoms between two races through revenge. A princess loses a succession struggle and is banished, so she approaches the Beast King and says, ‘Lend me thy strength, and thou shalt have half of mine kingdom.’”

“Huh? ...Now I’m curious. Lend me that when we get back.”

I’m curious too, I might give it a chance once I get my next pension.

But Kazuma! Megumin wants to watch a romance play!

She wants to watch something romantic with someone she likes. How can you be so dense?!

“Well, have it your way. But I’m seeing Potemkin tomorrow.”

“As a fan of the series I’m interested too. ‘Punch away, Potemkin!’ and ‘Sing away, Potemkin!’ were quite good. Tomorrow, right? I’ll come with you.”

And just like that they already arranged another date. Excellent work, Kazuma. You really can do it when you try.

But of course, if you’re on a date with a girl you have to see something romantic!

...Though no one has ever invited me.

Well, I’ve never been on a date at all.

“Excuse me, two tickets for The Millionth Proposal please. There’s a couple’s discount, right? Kazuma, please pay.”

“Of course! With the couple’s discount it’ll be 1500 Eris!”

“Huh? Okay, here you go…”

Megumin went straight for the couple’s discount!

“Don’t do that so casually, and even less so in public. At least warm me first.”

“Huh? ...It says couples get a discount all month. I’ll pay for tomorrow’s tickets, so we’ll be even.”

I don’t think that’s what Kazuma meant.

“But you’re right, I should’ve told you beforehand, sorry. This was sudden, remember we were on our way to my amazing daily routine. When I go out I don’t bring my wallet, it makes it easier for the person that carries me.”

No Megumin, that’s not why Kazuma is flustered.

“That’s not the problem. I know you send money to your family, I’ll pay tomorrow too. You casually called us a couple… I mean, it’s a good deal, but…”

Yeah, I knew Kazuma would get hung up on that, it’s natural he’d become self-conscious about it.

“Oh, I get it. It’s cheaper if we pretend we’re a couple, and it’s not as if they’re going to make us kiss to prove that or anything.”

“Don’t say that so openly in front of the ticket lady!”

The ticked lady looks mad, seems she doesn’t like the idea of being cheated.

“We’re more than friends but less than lovers, so it’s not really a lie, is it? Besides, it’s not like I mind holding hands with you.”

Megumin, Megumin, Megumin, Megumin!

Not in public! You need to present your maiden side with more finesse!

Kazuma turned beet red after she held his hand!

This is bad, it’s the middle of the day and everyone is watching!

I’m watching, the ticket lady is watching!

“But if you want, I can give you a kiss…”

“Here are your tickets! I definitely believe you’re a couple!”

Yes, yeeeeeeees!

Ahhh…. I must stay calm. I’m getting too flustered, I can’t risk being spotted.

Don’t do that so suddenly Megumin, it’s bad for both Kazuma’s heart and mine.

“Hey, there are kids around! Watch what you say! And don’t get embarrassed after being the one who said it!”

“Fine, fine. Let’s go, it’s about to start!”

Megumin’s ears are red too, even though she’s hiding her face under her hat my excellent eyesight missed nothing.

It’s dangerous to stay any longer.

Couples who watch romance plays together definitely overdo it, time to call it a day.

Ahhhh, I’m so glad I moved to this city after retiring.

My faves are just so cute!

 

Part 2

 

And that’s what happened, I really wanted to share this story with you.

Now, I know what you’re thinking.

You think Kazuma should stay with everyone and live together, right?

Wrong.

Kazuma should end up with Megumin.

Ah, my meat almost overcooked.

Do you know any fairy tales?

Like ‘The Little Match Girl’?

It’s a revenge story about a mysterious little girl that screams, “If innocent children like me must work in this freezing weather, then the whole world should burn!” and then sets random buildings on fire with mysterious magical matches.

Given your class, you seem the type who’d enjoy revenge stories like that.

You know about Derella’s Sin[3] too, right?

That’s right.

Derella, the youngest daughter of a commoner family, was bullied by her evil stepmother and stepsisters.

But after a witch gave her magical slippers, she hunted down vain noblewomen obsessed with beauty and beat them senseless.

It’s a shitty story that teaches you that what wealthy men truly desire isn’t knowledge or family, but looks and youth.

Ah, the meat is great. This place is expensive, make sure to eat before it gets cold.

…huh? You didn’t know about the slippers?

She used them to outrun the guards so she could beat up the prince and escape.

You worked with me as a spy, you know how that works.

Right. Ah, there’s something else I like about that story.

There’s something dreamy about a commoner girl outsmarting princesses and noblewomen only to beat a prince mercilessly after breaking his heart.

Listen, I think Lalatina and Princess Iris are nice and all.

But what I really want is for Kazuma to be happy with Megumin.

In Derella’s Sin, the prince becomes obsessed with her, they end up marrying it and live happily ever after, right?

But what happens after they get married?

It’s obvious.

A commoner girl has little in common with a prince. She couldn’t read or write, didn’t know manners, and was all around uneducated. They had little in common and had nothing to talk about.

They divorced shortly after.

It was doomed from the start!

Kazuma and Megumin are both commoners, it’s only natural if they end up together.

You can’t really change Lalatina’s social status.

Though I guess Kazuma could be entitled to a noble title, seeing who he’s defeated so many Demon King Army generals.

Granting titles to commoners is a way to strengthen the military by using powerful individuals, these new nobles are also greatly encouraged to have children.

But Kazuma isn’t powerful, he’s just lucky…

He doesn’t have a divine treasure to pass down, so his bloodline would be rather worthless.

As for Princess Iris, that’s just completely out of the question, unless he somehow manages to defeat the Demon King.

But come on, that’s just ridiculous.

It’d be impossible for Kazuma to get a harem, he’s not skillful or irresponsible enough. Though I guess that’s why everyone likes him.

But Kazuma… or rather Aqua, get in trouble pretty often. I think they’ll be too busy fighting more generals, to ever reach the Demon King himself.

I’m starting to get worried, should I teach Kazuma some skills?

No, I don’t think that’d work.

Yours are good though, you could help.

His skills are all over the place, there’s no need for an Adventurer to have cooking skills, he should have something useful in combat.

“Hey, that’s my meat! You thieving NEET!”

“I’m paying, so this is all my meat… But seriously, I have cooking skills. Why are you better at grilling than me?”

Aqua can cook better than Kazuma…

“See, Darkness? This is how you grill barbecue. Once it’s done, you dip the meat in sauce and eat it.”

“I see… It's odd for a restaurant to have its customers cook for themselves. However, I suppose not having a cook means the prices are lower.”

Yeah, a restaurant like this must be rare for the noble Lalatina.

Megumin is grilling the meat and handing it to everyone. It’s heartwarming, almost like a mother bird feeding her chicks.

She used to be a glutton, it’s nice to see her grow into a lady.

She has a younger sister, so naturally she knows how to take care for others.

“Take a look at the menu, Darkness. This place isn’t cheap.”

“Huh? Oh, I see. It’s pretty expensive if anything!”

Yes, eating here takes about a fifth of my monthly pension…

“We know you’re loaded. I bet you always go to places we can’t afford. Hey, where do you usually eat? Tell me.”

“Yeah, tell us! And take us with you!”

“That’s right, we’re all friends. Sharing hardships and joys is what being in a party is all about!”

H-hey, don’t gang up on Lalatina like that!

Of course, I know where she goes.

“W-well, but…”

“I bet it’s a nice place that costs three times more than this one. That’s why you don’t want to tell us. But we’re essentially celebrities, we can totally go.”

“Yeah, we’ve already gone to basically every restaurant in town with Kazuma’s money. But the ones in the noble district are always fully booked! And when we try to make a reservation they tell us something like, ‘The waiting list is years long, come back in ten thousand years!’”

Ah, Lalatina is all sweaty!

Stop that! Kazuma is smart, he should notice she’s troubled!

“Wait, she didn’t even try to deny how expensive it is! I was just joking; don’t tell me I was right!?”

“That’s because it’s not three times as much! It’s way more…

“I’m not sure I understand. Kazuma, does she mean the kind of restaurant where one meal costs as much as a house?”

“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to afford a house…”

Aqua mentioned restaurants in the noble district always reject them, that means…

“Ah! So, they weren’t rejecting us because we lacked reservations, they were judging us by appearance! It’s basically ‘No commoners allowed!’”

“That’s mean! I’ll perform an amazing street show to distract the nobles! They’ll be glued to the spot and won’t make it to dinner!”

Well yeah, those kinds of restaurants have dress codes. They were politely turning them away.

And most are also members-only, you’ll never even be able to get a reservation without a letter of recommendation.

“F-fine! I’ll arrange for a delivery to the mansion as a special treat! Those restaurants have strict table manners. We’ll eat at home so you can be as loud and annoying as you want without bothering anyone!”

“Are you implying that we’ll make a scene if you bring us along!?”

“Yes! That’s exactly what I mean! You’re all making a scene right now!”

“You’re the loudest one here! We were all eating quietly until… Aqua! You ate all my meat while I was distracted!”

Why am I smiling so much?

You could say watching them makes me happy.

They just have so much fun every day.

When I see them, I somewhat understand the feeling of not wanting Kazuma to end up with anyone. I want them all to continue living happily.

If you think that’s boring then we simply can’t be friends.

Of course, Kazuma should still end up with Megumin. That part is non-negotiable.

Hey, what’s up with you?

How can you eat with that mask on?

“It’s your fault for being distracted… Ah, I’m so full. So much of Kazuma’s meat is inside me…”

Seriously, how do you do it?

Actually, are you a man or a woman?

“Hey, think before you speak! And don’t eat so much when you’re not paying!”

Even after all these years working together, I still don’t know your name.

What’s your secret? Tell me!

I had to give up on womanhood to take this job… but I’m still a woman at heart!

Seriously, are you a girl or not?

Is there some cool, handsome man underneath that mask?

Ah, so you are a woman… that’s cool, I guess.

Damn, I was hoping you’d be a cute guy, that would’ve been nice. We’ve known each other for a long time, and we worked together on several missions.

Wouldn’t it have been nice to retire together in a town like this.

You could’ve been my first love…

But meh, you’re just a girl.

W-what? I’m not crying! It’s just smoky here!

Anyway, forget about it.

Listen, I’m not interested in girls and that’s that!

“Darkness, you're supposed to salt that cut. Different cuts need to be prepared differently.”

It’s not as if I’m interfering with them. I’m trying to live my best life without them noticing me.

If you understand that, that’s fine. Outcasts like us shouldn’t get involved with a happy-looking party like them anyway.

Stalk them? I’m not stalking them. I’m just watching them from afar, constantly. That’s all.

Hey, you’re one to talk. You spend all day in front of the guild waiting for them, don’t you?

“I see, salt goes well with this… wait a minute Megumin, this is raw!”

“It’s rebasashi[4], you’re supposed to eat it raw.”

I’ve seen you casually greet Kazuma. But you better not get involved.

Aqua is fine though, both of us met her when we arrived here.

Remember when I used my Treasure Detection skill to find her wallet? She was so grateful she made my arm grow back…

“I can handle sashimi, but eating guts…”

“What’s the matter? Don’t you have super high poison resistance? What are you afraid of? I remember you were so confident you ate that pufferfish, even though that requires detoxification magic!”

And you guided Aqua back to the guild after she got lost, she was crying…

I remember she made your leg brow back as thanks.

You said it was too much for doing so simple. But there are very few Archpriests that can cast Sacred Highness Heal.

Moreover, she can use such powerful magic without expensive catalysts. She’s crazy strong!

“I remember, I also remember how I almost …died… that’s why I’m a little worried.”

I don’t mind greeting Aqua, but I don’t want Kazuma to know about me.

Even less so Megumin, it’s better to keep distance.

“Oh, how disappointing. I always thought of you as the bravest adventurer in Axel, if not the world! A model Crusader… I never thought something as simple as raw liver would scare you. Well, hand it over then. I’ll eat it.”

“N-No, I’m eating it myself!”

Hold on, Kazuma has seen your real face!? But I’ve never done that!

You’re a former intelligence agent like me, why are you getting so friendly with rookies?

…I know Kazuma has some advanced skills, but still.

Well, I don’t wear my mask when I’m out late at night, so I guess some people have seen my face too.

I get taking it off occasionally, it can get uncomfortable. But why was Kazuma out so late at night?

“Hmm, it’s delicious!”

“Right? You shouldn’t be such a picky eater. If you want to eat something, do it, it doesn't matter if it's goblins or Kings of Terror. I couldn’t do that though…”

“Nobody could eat that! And if I ever hear you eating that, you’re not allowed back in the house.”

Ah, so he recognized you.

Oh yeah, I remember you told me about it.

Asked for me? What do you mean?

Yeah, some men in the shopping district were teasing me the other day. I had no idea why.

Erotic shop? What do you mean you’re a part timer in an erotic shop?

I didn’t even know this town had one.

“Kazuma, Kazuma, I wanna go drinking after this, give me some money! Or better yet, let’s all go!”

“How can you fit anything after eating so much? We’re going to hang out here for a bit and head home. Here, go by yourself.”

I don’t get it. What do you mean that shop works through dreams?

Well, you were always a bit mysterious. But gathering information is supposed to be my job.

“What’s this? Give me more!”

“You know, you all should learn to use your allowances better…”

What do you mean Kazuma asked about me?

Why should I get flustered? I really don’t get what you’re talking about.

I’m not cute, you idiot. I told you I gave up on being a woman.

Why are you blushing!?

Someone that can rip off the head of a kobold with her bare hands isn’t cute when she blushes!

Don’t patronize me, you hag!

You’re like 10 years older than me! You are a hag, you hag!

Oh, you want to fight? Fine, bring it on!

But let’s get out of here before they notice us, I don’t want to get in the way of Kazuma and Megumin.

 

Part 3

 

Last night’s battle ended in a draw.

We’re both advanced classes, but she’s more combat oriented, so all in all it wasn’t too bad.

And that bitch just left without even checking if I was okay.

I’m glad we fought there though, hadn’t Aqua come out of that shop and healed me, I’d be dead.

“This is the one I want to watch.”

“The Millionth Proposal…? Uhm, isn’t that a romance play?”

What the hell are you doing Kazuma!?

Why are you here with Lalatina!?

You promised you’d come see Potemkin with Megumin!

“Hey, that could be a spoiler! Hi, two tickets with the couple’s discount please!”

“Couple’s discount!?”

“O-okay… two tickets, right…?”

Even the ticket lady is stunned after seeing Kazuma show up with a different girl.

“We’re not a couple, please give us two tickets for a regular price.”

Oh, as expected of Lala! She’s so smart! She couldn’t possibly behave like the cheater Kazuma.

But why did she sound sad when she said that?

“Hey, what’s the problem? It’s a simple discount, I’m paying anyway.”

“Dear customer, please don’t say that in front of me…”

The ticket lady looks genuinely angry now.

“I already feel bad about coming with you without telling Megumin, so the idea of pretending we’re a couple just feels wrong…”

Go, go, Lalatina!

“Don’t worry about that. In fact, Megumin told me to bring you because she’s sick.”

“Oh yeah, because she ate so much raw meat.”

She got sick from that? What on earth was she thinking?

I guess she hasn’t actually changed, she’s as greedy as ever.

“It’s not like Aqua could heal her. She came stumbling in drunk as hell this morning. She won’t wake up until night. No idea where she got enough money to drink that much.”

Sorry, that was me. I treated Aqua in return for healing me.

I was attacked by a monster and almost died.

“Aqua has a …wide circle. But if Megumin is okay with it, then let’s go. The Millionth Proposal… I don’t know what it’s about, but I’m looking forward to it!”

“Well, Aqua couldn’t come. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.”

Aqua is a girl too, I’m sure she enjoys romance plays!

But Lalatina looks so happy! Go and have fun!

I got bored by the lovey-dovey behavior of a couple who’d just finished watching the play yesterday and left.

But today, I’m sticking through!

Disguised as a flowerpot, I won’t be seen!

 

“That was not romantic at all! It was a horror play! They tricked me!”

“I never said it was a romance play; you just assumed things!”

Yep.

Despite the title, The Millionth Proposal is a horror play.

I should’ve stayed yesterday.

“I thought it was fun. I’ll definitely recommend this to other people.”

“This is beyond bad taste! Don’t you dare show this to anyone but me!”

I’m sure Megumin enjoyed it too.

But Lalatina’s reaction is so cute!

“I mean, it’s right there in the title. Nobody except a ghost could propose a million times. Even once a day would take hundreds of years.”

“You shouldn’t use real ghosts as actors! Who even approved a play like this!?”

I thought it was great. I’m sure the theater company has a great future, I’ll be sure to remember them.

“Ah! I get it! That’s why you didn’t want to bring Aqua! She’d purify the whole cast!”

“You only realized that now? Listen, let’s agree we were both tricked. How about we go to the Adventurer’s Guild?”

“Huh…? N-no! I’ll use my power as acting lord and have this ridiculous play shut down!”

“Hey, I’m pretty you were smiling. It’s cowardly to abuse your powers just because you think you were tricked! Come on, let’s invite more people, it was pretty fun!”

“We’re not going to allow more people to be tricked!”

“I get it, you’re a couple. Can you go and fight somewhere else? There are people who want to buy tickets here.”

Come on, Kazuma…

 

Part 4

 

And the rest was business as usual.

Lalatina got angry and started choking Kazuma. He tried to fight back but couldn’t move her an inch, but she relented after his face turned purple.

It was fun to watch from the sidelines.

Yeah, you’re right, it’s best if everyone gets along.

But Kazuma should just…

Get together with Megumin! That idiot!

Ah! Why’d you suddenly throw that knife?! If that wasn’t me, you could’ve killed someone!

Huh? That wasn’t aimed at me?

“Fuahahaha! Quite the greeting, gloomy girl! I recommend you stay out in the sun else an annoying Archpriest may confuse you for a ghoul!”

Vanir… hey, she’s serious. Stop looking for her to feed off her negative emotions.

Don’t you usually call her gloomy person?

“Hmm, it seems the gloomy girl has finally revealed to you that she is in fact a girl, so I referred to her accordingly. Besides, the negative emotions of such high-level individuals are so delicious that I can’t help myself. Especially from girls that pretend they gave up womanhood yet secretly watch loving couples with envy. Those emotions are simply terrific.”

Huh? Wait, is that true? Are you pretending to be serious, but you spy on loving couples? What’s your deal?

Hey, don’t look away! Are you crying!?

“More importantly, I didn’t come merely to feed off you, though I will do that happily. I have an item that should prove very useful to your sort. I’d like you to take one.”

Ah, a Magic Scroll. I’ve seen those, aren’t those all the rage nowadays, Flash something?

Magic scrolls aren’t cheap, how come you have so many?

Aren’t those managed by the Wizards’ Guild?

“This is handmade. Crafted by the sleepless shop owner, who has recently become obsessed with writing. It was produced at the cost of her sleep; therefore, production costs are zero. Also, this is not a scroll. It is a firework. Legally, it cannot be called a scroll.”

Oh yeah, they got banned.

If I were still working, I’d gladly take one of those. But now that I’m retired…

Hey Vanir, are you alright? That knife is still sticking out of your heart.

“Something as simple as this causes me no harm. If left alone, the knife shall soon turn to dust. That dust shall nourish plants. Those plants shall attract birds. Those birds shall start a kingdom of birds.”

Just pull it out, it’s making me uncomfortable. Anyway, I don’t care for your kingdom of birds.

You know, since you started your consulting business, my work of information gathering has dried up.

Advice is one thing, but could you stop selling information so cheaply?

My pension isn’t that great, you know. And it’s not as if I can go out there and hunt monsters.

“Even if you say that, stalker girl, I have need of money as much as you. I’ve also been told I shouldn’t go hunting.”

Well, this is a town of novice adventurers after all. If a great devil like you or a high-level, advanced class like me went out hunting, we’d wipe out all the frogs around the city.

Also, please stop calling me that.

“The free market is inherently competitive. If your customers abandoned you for me, it simply means I offer superior service. Accept this cruel reality and seek other employment. Perhaps refine your stalking skills and become a Duxion hunter, stalker girl.”

No way, hunting Duxions is boring. Besides, I like living here.

I’m sure you know who we really are anyway.

Which means you know that we know about you too.

And I happen to know quite a bit, so stop calling me stalker girl.

“You are remarkably arrogant for an impertinent stalker girl. If you are so confident, then tell me, what does the stalker girl know about me?”

I told you to stop calling me that!

Or what?

Should I call you by your full name?

Vanir Mildo[5]?

H-hey, don’t look at me like that, it’s scary!!

What, you get to say anything about me but I can’t fight back? Compared to a devil like you I might as well be a baby, you’re a bully who picks on babies!

“I am outraged because you uttered something no sane person should joke about, stalker girl. A devil’s true name is crucial for summoning. The more a summoner knows, the easier it becomes. Only muscle-brained fools reveal their names and allow themselves to be summoned into this world. I know you are formidable; my all-seeing eye cannot fully read you. Your information network is impressive. But how did you learn that?”

The observation deck at the Crimson Magic Village uses your name.

“!?!?!??!?!”

Yeah, they call it the ‘All-seeing observation deck: Vanir Mildo,’ it has become a popular tourist trap.

There’s a grimoire all about you in the Duke of Hell Series too. I found it in the library of the village.

“That clan of fools! I don’t care if it’s the crazy explosion girl or the lonely girl! They went too far infringing on my name!”

...Hey.

How about we use this chance to leave?

 

See? I got back at Vanir for you, here’s always teasing you.

By the way, and I know this isn’t your fault, but after we ate out yesterday and treated Aqua, I’m out of money. Could you treat me to lunch today?

Wow, really?

Excuse me, bring me the whole menu!

Ahahaha, I’m just kidding, kidding!

Or am I?

Hey seeing how it’s nighttime already, how about we order some drinks too?

Wow, you’re oddly generous today.

You live on the same pension as me, how come you have so much money?

You don’t spend much?

Oh, yeah. I forgot you’re a super boring person with no hobbies.

Me on the other hand. Well, I have an idol I have to spend money on.

Well, not really an idol. But I do owe Aqua, so I cover her tab whenever I can.

Because of my high luck stat, I tend to find loose change just about everywhere. But even so, I’m just barely scrapping by.

I know Aqua doesn’t care either way, but even if it’s only for my own peace of mind, I’m going to repay her for regrowing my arm. Little by little, however long it takes.

And it’s not like that debt is getting close to being repaid, as she has healed me several times more.

Just yesterday she healed me after a monster broke several of my ribs.

Yes, dummy, I’m talking about you.

What, you think you won?

Ahahahahaha!

I’m the scout type, hand to hand combat isn’t really my thing. Just like Kazuma, I fight indirectly.

Why are you looking at me like that?

You damn monster woman, don’t think I’ll forget about the time you ripped out the heart out of a goblin with your bare hands.

Yes, you might as well be a monster.

And apparently, you stalk Kazuma too, so you’re a stalking monster to boot.

What has he been up to, by the way?

Ah, so Vanir was right.

Between your gender and now this, I’m shocked that there are so many things I still don’t know about you, even though we’ve known each other for so long.

Hey, look! Aqua and Kazuma just arrived. They must’ve gone out for drinks.

…I noticed you were staring directly at him.

Careful, he has an Enemy Detection skill.

It’s fine if you watch from a distance, but if even a hint of hostility gets in the way, he’ll notice.

You’re staring way too much, Megumin would probably pick up a fight if she were here.

Ah, you’re wondering why those other two aren’t with them.

Megumin got sick after eating so much raw liver, she’s resting.

And Lalatina is looking after her. She’s lecturing Megumin about seeing that horror play too.

Aqua healed Megumin, so Kazuma took Aqua drinking as thanks.

How do I know that?

I was worried about Megumin so I checked on her before coming here.

Don’t call me stalker girl, you gloomy girl.

Yeah, I don’t like it either, but I can’t help but blush when Vanir calls me that. At least he considers me a girl.

You’re right, I should call you monster girl instead of monster woman.

Fine, let’s drop the subject.

Geez.

You said you don’t want Kazuma to end up with anyone, but I bet that’s because you want him to end up with you, huh?

You can’t fool a former intelligence agent.

What? That angry reaction means I’m right. The parts of your face that aren’t covered with your mask are bright red!

Fine, I’ll kick your ass this time, you gloomy, monster girl.

I’ll have my revenge from last night!

 

Part 5

 

I think it’s fair to say I achieved total victory this time.

I have no doubts she’s a woman now, because goddamn, they’re huge!

I just wanted to steal her dagger or something but accidentally stole her bra and she ran away crying.

Not after breaking a few ribs again, but still. My victory!

My high intelligence stat isn’t just for show, I anticipated that I’d find Aqua drinking in the Adventurer’s Guild. And of course, she generously healed me.

I owe her again though, but I don’t really mind.

Nonetheless, the monster girl is nice, she treated me again afterwards.

I’m pretty sure she was still braless, but like hell I’m giving it back!

I hope she eventually becomes a Kazuma x Megumin supporter too, she must see the light!

“Oh, what a coincidence seeing you two here. I guess that means… Aha! You’re on date, I’m jealous!”

“Yeah, I bet you’re going to see The Millionth Proposal, seeing how you’re in front of the theater. I’m jealous too!”

My faves are being mugged by ugly thugs.

Dust and Rin, they might as well be thugs.

They’re a bad influence on Kazuma!

But no, they’re not going to watch that again, they’re here to watch Potemkin this time, so stop teasing them…

“We already saw that. It was a pretty fun play, especially the 246.152th proposal scene, I couldn't help but shout.”

“Yes, highly recommended. In fact, now that you two are here, why not go see it?”

“Huh? W-what do you think, Rin? They liked it.”

“If you’re paying, sure.”

Kazuma and Megumin can be so mean.

But I’m also shipping Dust and Rin.

It’s their fault though, they could ask them what the play is about or something. They probably expect a romance play too.

Ah, they’re gone!

“And they’re gone. Let’s keep this up, more people need to see that play. Hehehe…”

That’s mean. But it seems they’re having fun, I’ll forgive them.

I’m still mad though, even if Megumin was cool with it, tricking Lalatina like that was mean.

“So, we’re watching Potemkin—Huh? Who’s there!?”

“What’s the matter, Kazuma? Only the ticket lady is around.”

That damn Enemy Detection skill, he’s looking at this way now!

“I sensed hostility from that alley. I’m a good guy, I don’t see how anyone could be mad at me. Or maybe… after defeating so many generals, the Demon King sent an assassin after me?”

“There are many reasons for people to be mad at you.”

I’m not an assassin!

Well, I used to be. But I worked against the Demon King!

They’re coming, I have to do something!

Meow, meow…

“Oh, it’s just a neroid.”

“Let’s go, Potemkin is about to begin.”

Phew…

“I’ve been wondering about this for a while. What even is a Neroid? I know it’s some harmless monster that meows, but I’ve never seen one.”

“Have you been living under a rock? Maybe we should catch one and sell it to pay for tickets.”

Megumin, no! I’m not a neroid, don’t come here!

“Ah! Something flew at me!”

“It was probably a pebble or something. It might be revenge from the kids I made cry the other day. Let’s chase after them and teach them a lesson!”

“Ah, that hostility I felt… it was for you then.”

…they left?

Thank goodness.

Ah, it’s you, thanks.

But seeing how you were stalking me, you don’t get to call me stalker girl anymore.

You happened to be passing by? Yeah sure.

Ack! Don’t throw rocks at me!

But since you saved me, how about I treat you?

…nevermind, I’m broke. How about I give you a photo I took with my magic camera of that party having fun and laughing under the cherry blossoms?

…I was joking. Are you serious? You really want it.

Okay then, wait here for a bit, I’ll go back home and get it.

“Emergency! Emergency! All adventurers in town, gather immediately at the city’s main gate!”

 

This town is supposed to be for beginner adventurers.

But there are plenty of high-level people here. Nonetheless, it’s an understated rule that we seniors should just watch the rookies from afar.

I meant you, you’ve been acting all fidgety this whole time.

I’m sure Kazuma will be okay, he’s fought several Demon King army generals.

…yes, he’s also died several times, but not against strong opponents, he only loses against weak ones.

Why do you have to make me worry? Of course I’ll help if things go south.

But if we help them, we need to make sure we don’t take any experience points.

Listen, it’s not the time for panic, calm down.

Ahhh! Lalatina, no!

It doesn’t matter how tough you are, stop charging in alone!

Aqua don’t follow her!

…no, no, no.

This knife is for sharpening my claws. I use them for climbing walls during infiltration jobs.

If anything, why are you holding so many poison vials? Put them away, they’re dangerous.

They don’t look like any kind of poison I’ve ever seen.

Judging by the bottle shape, that’s high-grade stuff. The vials are even sealed with magic.

Hans? You mean the Demon King Army general, Hans the poison slime? That’s his poison?

Why do you have something so dangerous? How did you even get it, didn’t Kazuma and the rest defeat him?

Oh, you bought it at Wiz’s magic tool shop.

Right, I remember Wiz went with them to Arcanletia.

30 Eris? They’re selling something so dangerous for 30 Eris?!

To think that a former Demon King Army general is being sold for 30 Eris per bottle.

Don’t give something so dangerous to Kazuma.

I’m serious! It’s absolutely not okay!

It’s not as if I can teach Kazuma any skills, maybe only something simple like eavesdropping.

N-no, it’s not because my skills are bad, it’s because he already has several of my skills! Besides, you shouldn’t eavesdrop, I don’t even like using it!

Listen, we shouldn’t be too involved anyway. Let’s just watch from the sidelines.

Ah! Aqua!

As expected of Kazuma, that was great… but that wasn’t—Oh!?

Everyone is doing their best, but if this keeps up…

“Explooooooooooooooosion!!”

 

…let’s go home.

We were far away yet we still got showered with guts and debris. The public baths are going to be packed, let’s get a head start.

 

Part 6

 

“Everyone, thank you for your hard work! I appreciate you all gathering despite the short notice. All quest participants may enjoy all-you-can-eat and drink until midnight! Please rest your tired bodies!”

“Yay! Luna’s the best, let’s get wasted!”

“Woo! Let’s have a drinking contest!”

“The guild is usually super stingy, but they’re so generous today! …wait, midnight is in like 5 minutes…”

All the adventurers returned safely.

Apparently, no adventurer deaths have occurred since Aqua arrived in town. Amazing, isn’t it?

Of course those that were revived don’t count.

Yeah, I know. But you should tell that to the guild, not me.

“Kazuma, you bitch! That play was nothing like what I expected, you tricked me!”

Ah, it’s the thug couple.

“It was awful! Everyone was screaming in terror at the 682.475th proposal scene, so we never heard the emergency call! We made no money, and the all-you-can-eat deal doesn’t apply to us!”

“That’s right! If you feel guilty, buy me a drink!”

“I don’t feel guilty.”

Oh yeah, I didn’t see Dust and Rin during the quest.

“In fact, I want more people to see the play. Tell you what, I’ll buy you a drink if you recommend it to other people.”

“What? Why!?”

“How about them? Recommend it to them.”

He’s so mean…

Not that Dust and Rin don’t deserve it.

They teased Kazuma and Megumin first. He’s only returning the favor.

…hey, Megumin and Lalatina, Kazuma is being mean again!

Why aren’t you doing anything? Megumin is smirking, and Lalatina, you have to stop him, not look away!

 

“A wild goblin will now jump out of this handkerchief!”

“Stop that. Don’t let any goblins jump out of anything. You’re kidding, right? No, don’t answer, and don’t summon any goblins!”

“Hehe, you know how to hype the audience, Kazuma!”

“No, I’m telling you not to do it!”

What’s with you? You’re unusually happy today.

Yeah, I can tell even through the mask. We’ve known each other for a long time.

Well, everyone’s having fun, so I get it.

I too enjoy watching the happy faces of my faves while I drink…

“Excuse me, may I have a word?”

Hey Luna. You look serious, what’s the matter?

I get the hint, you approached us whispering.

“Well, you see. Monster attacks have been increasing lately. It seems nocturnal monsters are gathering near the front gate.”

Ah, nocturnal monsters are usually pretty strong.

We have good nocturnal vision, and most nocturnal monsters are too much for rookie adventurers.

Besides, Megumin already used her dumb explosion.

“That’s right, and while it’s not exactly appropriate. I must ask the help from veterans—”

Don’t worry, our injuries have fully healed.

I could totally go back to work, but I want to live a leisurely life on my pension.

Don’t worry about payment. I’m well aware the country is struggling financially.

“Yes… you two must be very well informed about that…”

Don’t make that face.

Besides—

“Hey, don’t steal my spotlight! What good are my skills for if I don’t get to show off!?”

“Your worthwhile skill is your magic, not your stupid party tricks!”

Ahhh! They’re so cute, I can’t take it!

The newbies worked hard today, it’s fine for us old veterans to help a bit.

“You’re both pretty young still, though.”

Hey, no need to flatter me. I’m like 10 years older than Kazuma…

“No, I’m pretty sure we three are all about the same age.”

Wha? I’m well aware of old you are—

“Anyway, thank you very much for your help. Now, regarding payment—”

I told you we don’t need a reward!

It’s fine, calm down, we won’t talk about your age anymore!

“Well, if you insist…”

You’re so kind. The men in this town have no taste seeing how nobody makes advances on you.

“Hey, seeing how we’re all the same age. Why don’t we hang out after work?”

Uh… sure.

 

You know, I still don’t know your name.

Ever since Aqua made my arm grow back, I became an Axis Cultist. It’s a secret though.

Why don’t you join too?

Huh? Why not?

Ah, you’re still not over that.

Listen, I don’t like girls. I’m sure you’ll understand soon enough. You’re pretty smart after all.

If Luna’s right, then the monsters are pretty strong, and there’s a lot of them too. I’d be too much for me alone, but…

Go, monster girl! Show them the power you used when you tore an ogre in half with your bare hands!

Ahhhh! Not me, the monsters!

Huh? You’re hesitating now?

Come on, let’s go. It’ll be the first time we go on a mission together since that time. Aren’t you excited?

I won’t do that, come on. We almost died that time.

I’ll never forget that, I lost my arm. It’s nothing but a miracle I was able to carry your one-legged ass out of there.

If anything, you owe me your life, you should be grateful.

Yes, yes. I am grateful that you saved me so many times too.

Remember what his name was? You know, the crazy guy with the goat head.

I think it was Mammon[6] or something.

Yeah, the guy with the huge axe we had to fight on our own.

I heard that for defeating us he was promoted to captain of the Demon King guard or something.

Because of the barrier around the Demon King’s castle, I can’t even get revenge.

I sure hope that goat-face asshole will meet a messy death.

But enough remembering, let’s go.

Come, just go with it.

Let’s fight together again.

 

Hey, look over there.

“There’s a new play called ‘Dance away, Potemkin!’ that I’d like to see. But we couldn’t go because of the emergency quest.”

“Well, how about we all see it together tomorrow then?”

“...I hope it won’t be a trick this time.”

“Huh? What did you do to Darkness? She’s really mad.”

Ahhh, I just love seeing this.

“It’ll be the first time we all see a play together, right? Well, hopefully nothing else will happen today, so let’s go tomorrow! I’m really looking forward to it!”

Yeah, we need to protect those smiles.

The DarkStalker and Assassin will rise again!


[1] This is likely a parody of The 101th Proposal, a popular Japanese drama from 1991.
[2] Unlike The Millionth Proposal this isn’t a direct reference, so here’s some context. The Japanese text is 踊って解決ポチョムキン which more directly translates to something like “Dance your problems away, Potemkin!” the “(blank) your problems away!” sounds like the title of a typical segment in a kid’s TV show, basically something like let’s all have fun and get along. As for Potemkin, that eludes me. The most famous Potemkin is the 1925 soviet film Battleship Potemkin, a dramatization of the mutiny on the eponymous ship. Or maybe Akatsuki is a big Guilty Gear fan? I dunno.
[3] In Japanese this is written as 真・デレラ, pronounced “Shin-Derera” just as Cinderella, but it’s a play on words meaning “Real Derella.” The joke is that it’s supposed to be a more realistic/darker version of Cinderella, so I at least try to keep a similar play on words in English.
[4] Raw pig liver served as sashimi. A delicacy in Japan.
[5] In Japanese Vanir kind of sounds like vanilla, so Vanir Mildo is sort of like Mild Vanilla.
[6] This guy shows up in the series’ final volume.

Contents

Chapter 4: The Pride and Determination of a Veteran Adventurer (tentative title) (Coming soon!)
Chapter 5: The Pride and Determination of a Junior Adventurer (tentative title) (Coming soon!)
Afterword & Color illustrations (tentative title) (Coming soon!)

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