Credits
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Souda, Tantei ni
Narou! by Natsume Akatsuki
Originally published
with the Konosuba: God's Blessing on this Wonderful World! - Bonus Stage! (S3
OVAs) BD on March 15, 2025.
Japanese scans
provided by snowdan07
English translation
by H. Berry ( aitch99berry@gmail.com
)
While I’m happily
enjoying the shut-in life here, same as I did back in Japan, I do have one
major complaint.
There’s barely
anything to do for entertainment, which, for a shut-in, is as vital as oxygen.
“Kazuma, Kazuma. I’m
going chestnut picking, come help me!”
I could hear Aqua’s
annoying voice from outside the door, but I continued to lie on the bed,
absentmindedly turning the pages of the book in my hand without paying her any
mind.
At least there are
novels in this world too. They’re pricier than in Japan, but boredom is a
shut-in’s mortal enemy.
Right now, I’m deep
into a mystery novel, finally getting to the juiciest part, where the great
detective is about to unveil the truth behind a locked-room murder.
Once I finish, I’ll
go back and reread my favorite parts.
“Come back in three
hours. I’m about to see how the murder gets solved, there’s barely any clues.”
“I can’t wait three
hours! What the heck are you—oh!” Aqua barged in without knocking, “I’ve read
that one! That’s the mystery where a stray dullahan casts Herald Death on
someone, and they’re found dead in a locked room, right? The unreliable
narrator is trying to frame an innocent person as the killer!”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
With the mystery spoiled, I tossed the book away.
Magic? That’s the big
reveal? What a cheap cop-out!
…Still, I picked it
back up.
“Fine, the twist is
garbage, but there’s one thing I still want to know, how did they figure out
the cause of death?”
“A passing Archpriest
resurrected the victim, and—”
I threw the book
again.
“Aww, come on!
Because he was cursed by the dullahan, he died again right after. You’d have to
remove the curse first, but obviously I’m the only Archpriest who could do
that!”
“It’s all garbage,
the cause of death, the twist, everything. I don’t care anymore.”
I should’ve known
better than to expect a proper mystery novel in this ridiculous other world.
I turned my attention
to Aqua, for some reason, she was carrying a large basket on her back.
“Anyway, what do you
want? You said something about some nuts?” I know she’s up to no good, but I
asked anyway.
“I heard the chestnut
trees in the forest near town are loaded with fruit and I want to catch tons of
them!”
“...Yeah, I’m not
going with you.”
In this world
vegetables fly and potatoes are venomous, chestnuts probably shoot fireballs or
something.
“Don’t be such a
wuss. We’ll just grab the older ones that have already fallen to the ground.
But sometimes they play dead, so I want you to use your enemy detection and
high luck to pick them up.”
“I don’t want to know
what they can do, you’re making me feel dumb just by listening to you! I
already wasted my time with that crappy novel. I'm taking a nap for the rest of
the day!”
Almost on cue, a
voice called from the entrance.
A familiar voice from
the Adventurer’s Guild.
“…I can smell trouble
already.”
“That was the guild
receptionist, right? Sounds like someone’s about to get scolded.”
“The culprit is among
us!” I declared, holding my novel.
Deep in the forest
near town, there’s a small hut recognized as a cultural heritage site.
Supposedly, a
mysterious great wizard once lived there, someone who wiped out all the
dangerous monsters in the forest, turning Axel into a safe haven.
Even when shopping in
town, she supposedly wore a pure white robe with the hood drawn low, never
showing her face or revealing her name. A humble, kind soul…
Naturally, the hut
was preserved as a cultural heritage site.
“It was me. I wiped
it out without a trace.”
Before I could even
start my investigation, the culprit confessed.
Megumin, sprawled
smugly on the guild floor, looked way too pleased with herself.
“…Why the hell would
you do that!? Don’t you like the idea of another wizard being respected? Is the
Crimson Magic Clan unable to live in peace!?”
“No. I did it to
erase the shame of a fellow Crimson Magic Clan member. That wizard was one of
us, you know.”
…huh?
“A wizard who hid her
face under a white hood and refused to give her name despite her incredible
achievements? Only a Crimson Magic Clan member would be that noble. That’d be
impossible for you people.”
“You people?”
She’s practically the
polar opposite of that wizard.
“Sometimes, when
members of the Crimson Magic Clan reach adolescence, they enter a rebellious
phase where they think it’s cool to wear white cloaks and vanish without
explanation. It’s pathetic.”
“…That’s your
people’s ‘dark side’?”
The guild’s mood
shifted instantly. Adventurers stared like they wished they hadn’t heard that.
Even the receptionist
was covering her ears.
“To be precise, that
was Yunyun’s grandmother. When she was young, she lived as a recluse in that
forest. Before she met her glorious end, she told me she regretted such a
shameful phase, so I helped erase it for her.”
And so the mystery of
the legendary wizard is over, now we know who she was and from where.
With that settled, we
went back to the matter of the destroyed hut. Luckily, we won’t have to pay for
it.
The guild decided to
file the whole incident under “Crimson Magic Clan dark history,” which meant it
would probably never be brought up again.
“I suspect the reason
Yunyun is so eccentric is because of her family history. Perhaps one day she’ll
fully embrace our clan’s customs, just as her grandmother ultimately did.”
“Yunyun’s the only
one of your clan who isn’t eccentric. If she turns like you, I’ll be
heartbroken.”
After leaving the
guild, Aqua’s selfishness got the better of all of us, and we ended up heading
to pick her chestnuts.
Since Aqua had to
share mana with Megumin so she could walk, the two weren’t confident going
alone. Naturally, that meant dragging me along.
This is the kind of
situation where the masochist Crusader can be useful, the chestnuts are
probably nothing for her.
So, I agreed on the
condition that Darkness would come with us, but she went off somewhere early in
the morning.
“Kazuma, Kazuma, I
can’t believe you found Darkness in a place like this.”
“Don’t underestimate
me, I was reading a pseudo-mystery novel earlier. Think of me as the
protagonist pretending to be a detective, and the culprit is just ahead of us.”
Aqua and I moved
towards a deserted place while talking nonsense.
Can’t leave Darkness
to wander around places like this, she’s my shield against homicidal nuts.
“I told you, I’ll pay
any price! Look at me, I clearly have money! So what’s the problem?”
“T-though I do deal
in these items, I’m a merchant who values trust. I already have an agreement
with a wholesaler, so please—”
We found Darkness in
a back alley, locked in an argument with some shady types.
I stood behind her,
she was making no attempt to hide her noble aura.
“I bet the
wholesaler’s a noble. Who are you selling to? Where are they? Do you even know
who I am? Don’t worry, I’ll settle this. Just tell me the name of the noble and
I’ll work things out. You don’t need to know who I am!”
“What is Lady
Lalatina, daughter of Duke Dustiness, doing in a shady back alley?”
Darkness froze.
Megumin put a hand on
her shoulder. She was sweating bullets. “What’s that potion for? As a Crimson
Magic Clan member, I know a lot about potions. But I’d like to hear it from
you.”
“I don’t know what it
is, but I want to know why she wants it so badly! Listen, I want to go chestnut
picking and make tons of cash, if you want it that badly, I’ll buy it for you,
okay?”
Megumin clearly knew,
while Aqua was innocently poking her.
Ignoring them, I
turned to the merchant. “So? What is it?”
“Er, it’s… an
aphrodisiac.”
“I’ll take your
entire stock!”
I’m a man who acts
decisively when the situation demands.
But the merchant just
stepped back. “Sorry, but we already agreed to sell these…”
“You’re selling to a
noble, right? Don’t worry. I’ve got a duke’s backing and I’m friends with the
princess. Name your price.”
“See that, Darkness?
You were just as gross as him.”
“You don’t want to
end up like that guy, do you?”
“Ugh… disgusting. I’m
sorry.”
I could hear three
grating voices behind me.
Deep in the forest
near town.
Since we found
Darkness, we came to collect Aqua’s precious chestnuts.
“…That potion turned
out to be expensive. Whatever, let’s just grab these nuts. Aqua said some of
them play dead.”
“That’s right, but
those are rare. Most of these are old and tired, ones that won’t attack. You’ll
need to be lucky to find a fresh one that’d do that.”
Aqua told us that
chestnuts are packed with experience points and can be sold for a lot. At this
time of year, many adventurers search for them.
“He’s still planning
to buy that potion. Darkness, what are you going to do about it?!”
“He’s the last person
who should get it… what do I do?!”
Hey, it’s not
illegal, there’s nothing you can do to stop me. I really can’t understand why
the three of them have kept their distance from me since earlier.
“Don’t worry, when I
lived in the stables with this virgin NEET, he couldn’t do anything, despite
me, a beautiful woman, sleeping next to him. I don’t think a wuss like Kazuma
would do anything with it even if he got his hands on it.”
There’s a big
difference between “couldn’t” and “didn’t want to.”
Aqua was saying
whatever she wanted about me, I’m worried about how the other two seem
convinced about what she’s saying—
“…Hmm? My Enemy
Detection’s picking up.”
I stopped, sensing a
faint presence. Not quite hostile, but… dangerous.
“Look, the chestnuts
are over there! Stop being a coward, Kazuma! Scaredy cat!”
I’ll deal with her
later. For now, bow ready, I aimed at the fallen chestnuts.
This time, clear
hostility surged. I leapt back.
“Everyone behind me!”
An explosion rang out. Darkness lunged, catching something flying toward me.
“Something’s wrong!
My Enemy Detection’s going crazy!”
Aqua insisted most
chestnuts wouldn’t attack, but hostility surrounded us.
“It is strange,”
Megumin peeked from behind Darkness, “This season, the forest should be
crawling with people, yet we’ve seen no one. And it’s unusual for so many
chestnuts to be here at once…”
The pattern was
obvious now. All that was missing was a confession.
“The culprit is among
us!” The others flinched at my sudden declaration, “Some idiot fired off
Explosion magic in the forest. The shockwave shook all the young, healthy
chestnuts off the trees. These aren’t harmless old ones, they’re fresh and
hostile! Retreat!”
“Waaaaaaaaah!
Megumin, why do you always cause trouble?!”
“I don’t want to hear
that from you! But fine, just this once, I’ll apologize! I’m
sorryyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!”
“I’m fine! You guys
go ahead! Ngh, it stings!”
While Chestnuts burst
from every direction, we bolted in panic.
We somehow made it
back in one piece through the chestnut attack.
We lose to giant
frogs, the weakest monster, and now we’ve been bested by a symbol of autumn.
Where is this party going?
Maybe I should quit
adventuring and put my high intelligence to use as a detective.
“Megumin! Tomorrow
you’ll go to the guild and apologize! A bunch of people could’ve gotten hurt
because of your stunt, you know!?” Aqua snapped.
“Yes, I’ll apologize
at the guild… but can I eat now?” Megumin whined.
Since returning, Aqua
has been lecturing Megumin sitting on the carpet. Normally that’d be her
position.
Unusually, she didn’t
cause any trouble this time, so it’s fine she’s giving Megumin a piece of her
mind.
…hold on, wasn’t
chestnut picking her idea?
I stepped in to keep
the peace, “Look, Megumin is remorseful, and we got some chestnuts. Let’s eat
them with rice tonight and sell the rest at the guild tomorrow.”
While running away,
perhaps because of my high luck, a few of them happen to land on the basket
Aqua was carrying. Thanks to that we secured a fair amount of them, all in all,
it wasn’t too bad.
“Hrrk! Because I was
doing business in the city, I had no time to put on my armor before leaving…it
felt so good—I mean, it went well. But I may get addicted to it.”
Nope, it wasn’t good
after all.
I changed tack, “Hey,
Megumin, how did you get back the other day? Aqua and I stayed in the mansion
all day, and I bet the masochist Crusader went to buy some of her pervert
potions.”
“Ignoring that, I’m
also curious as to who carried you home. In fact, I need to know who helped you
blow up a cultural heritage site.”
There aren’t many
people who’d do that. The first suspect that sprang to mind was Yunyun, except
I saw her at the guild that day.
We all turned to
Megumin; she wore a smug grin, “Someone asked me, a great Archwizard, to
destroy that dump. That same person guided me there and carried me back.”
Darkness and I
blinked in unison.
“You destroyed a
building because someone asked you to, and you don’t even know who they were?
Aqua, that’s enough, it’s Darkness’ turn to scold her.”
“Yes, leave it to
me.”
“Wait!” Megumin
panicked, “It’s not that I don’t know her. It just didn’t feel like a stranger.
I couldn’t see her face because of the hood she wore, but she didn’t seem like
a bad person,” she clutched at her sleeves as Darkness closed in.
She confessed to
destroying a cultural heritage site without even seeing the face of her
accomplice. Darkness couldn’t let that slide, so she rushed her.
“B-besides,” Megumin
mumbled, “isn’t it right to wash away the shame of a fellow clanswoman?
Everyone has a dark past, right? Only someone without one gets to scold me!”
I don’t really have a
dark past, but I’ll leave it to Darkness.
“I don’t really have
a dark past, but I’ll leave it to Kazuma.”
“Hey, that perverted
potion is certainly a dark page in your history!”
While Darkness and I
argued, Aqua boasted, “As a pure and righteous goddess, I have no such shame, I
will scold you!”
“Calling yourself a
goddess is a dark past!” Megumin shot back.
While they bickered,
I collected my thoughts. If someone convinced Megumin to destroy the hut, there
had to be a motive. Revenge was obvious, Megumin picks fights often, so plenty
of people might want payback. Or maybe someone wanted to sully the Crimson
Magic Clan’s reputation. But why go through the trouble of hooding the
perpetrator and having Megumin do the dirty work?
Little details were
starting to line: someone wanted the deed done without getting their hands
dirty. If this were one of those novels, a small, absurd thing, an overlooked
scrap, a misplaced trinket, would be the hinge that opens the whole case.
Honestly, there are
so many suspects, it’s nigh impossible to pinpoint a culprit.
But if not revenge,
then I don’t know what the motive was.
“Hey Aqua, what’s
wrong with Kazuma? He’s been stranger than usual today. Is something wrong with
him?”
“He read a mystery
novel and now wants to play detective. He’ll get over it.”
…hold on, Megumin
mentioned something about Yunyun’s grandmother living in that hut.
And we don’t know how
or if she met that glorious end after all.
Was it her?
No, that doesn’t
explain it. As a clanswoman, she could’ve handled things herself. Why ask
Megumin?
“Have you been
dealing with ghosts lately?”
“Huh? Why would you
ask that? I have no recollection of ever being involved with one.”
Think Kazuma, think!
My intelligence stat should be high…!
Say, what if the
Demon King now considers us a threat thanks to all we’ve done and is targeting
Axel now?
He’d send in scouts
to investigate the city, so of course they’d target Megumin, who’s already
widely disliked for being so crazy!
“She doesn’t have the
scent of a ghost, but there are some residuals stuck to her robe. Maybe the
person who carried her back was a ghost, and a powerful one to boot to
materialize like that.” Aqua began sniffing her.
“...umm, now that I
think about it. I do remember the body of the person who carried me back being
rather cold…” Megumin’s face turned pale.
The room fell quiet.
Aqua, oblivious to subtlety, shoved her nose to Megumin’s robe, “Yep.
Definitely a ghost. And a strong one. But it sounds like the ghost fulfilled
their regret and passed on. Let’s check. I can sense the lingering thoughts of
an old lady with an odd name saying ‘Thank you for erasing my dark past, young
girl. As a token of my gratitude, please take some chestnuts in that basket—’”
“Stop! I don’t want
more! I want mystery, not horror!”
We’re hardened
adventurers, we aren’t scared of ghosts, yet that night none of us wanted to
stray far from Aqua.
Konosuba: Bonus Stage! BD Short Stories
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