Credits:
Crimson Demon Clan vs. Axis Cult by Natsume Akatsuki
Illustration by Kurone Mishima
Originally published alongside the Konosuba Explosions BD 2 on August 30th, 2023.
Japanese scans provided by Catzuma Gaming
English translation by Goku0 (u/Abschori)
Edited by H. Berry
“Ah, you came at just the right time
Megumin-san. Just the other day we were butting heads against some evil heretics,
but it seems they’ve settled down for now.”
Those were the words that casually
came out of Zesta’s mouth.
“Oh, there were evil people here who
aren’t from the Axis Cult?”
I saw Zesta smiling after hearing
the words I said from the bottom of my heart.
“Megumin-san sure does say some
interesting things. If I were from such an evil cult with no respect for the
law, I’d be living under your skirt by now.”
“I don’t know the full story, but I apologize
and ask for your forgiveness!”
I still can’t help but think of the
Axis Cult as a collection of evil people, their words and actions reek of
criminality....
“Also, Megumin-san, I’ve heard that
you have earned the title of the ‘Strange and Crazy Explosion Girl’ in the town
of Axel. That’s quite the name I’d say.”
“Wait, could you please stop calling
her by that name?” For some reason, Yunyun felt bad about those words and
interrupted Zesta.
“Megumin don’t think you’ve won just
because you won a title before me! I’ll get one sooner than you think!”
“That is not a title I like in the
first place!”
We are currently in the Axis Church,
located in the center of Alcanretia.
I came here for a certain reason
after winning a duel Yunyun challenged me to in Axel the other day.
“The Crimson Demons are known for
their many eccentric actions, but it seems that Megumin-san has managed to come
into her own.” Zesta smiled while saying that, but Yunyun seemed to object to
it.
“I-It is true that there are many
eccentric people in our clan, but I don’t want to hear that from someone that
is the head of the Axis Cult!”
I don’t know who she is referring to
as ‘eccentric’ in our clan but to me Yunyun is the most unusual one among the
Crimson Demons.
“Kah! We, the members of the Axis
Cult spend day and night fighting against the evils of the undead and devils
with all our might and on the other side are Crimson Demons, who are more blood
lusted than ogres and are such offensive magic junkies that they spend all
their spare time trying to level up. Which of us do you suppose the world
should call more unusual?”
"I can't ignore that! It's true
that the Crimson Demons may have a lot of bloodlust, but if they have free
time, they work hard to raise the level of their...attack magic...um..." Yunyun,
who was perfectly articulate while expressing her anger, somehow slurred her
words as she looked at me.
“Zesta-san, it is true that Yunyun
is famous amongst the Crimson Demons for being the most eccentric one among us
so it would be wrong to think that everyone in the clan was as sensitive as
her. Besides, Crimson Demons are highly sought after by adventurers for our
great power.”
“Wait just a minute, since when was
I called the most eccentric amongst the Crimson Demons?! This is worse than
what Zesta-san was saying just now!”
“But isn’t that great Yunyun-san,
you too have acquired a title for yourself.”
Encouraged by Zesta-san’s words,
Yunyun raised her wand and started chanting with her eyes fixed on him.
As Zesta-san prepared to counter
Yunyun’s attack, the door of the Axis Church opened, and a familiar face popped
out.
“WE ARE IN TROUBLE ZESTA-SAMA! The-
huh? Megumin-san, Yunyun-san why are you two here- Ah well that doesn’t matter
now, come play with your Onee-san!” Cecily came rushing in with a desperate
look on her face, but as soon as she saw us, her face broke into a smile.
“I don’t mind playing with you Onee-san....but
you seemed really serious, are you sure you’re not ignoring something
important?”
"Ah that's right! Zesta-sama,
we're in trouble! The head of the Axis Church has been ordered to appear in the
police station!" Cecily Onee-san said this after seemingly having
forgotten this important detail.
"Hm, this doesn’t seem to be a
friendly summon. I have three things in mind for which I could be summoned, but
it's still too early for two of them to be discovered. In that case..." Unfazed
by our suspicious gazes, Zesta-san continued to be in thought. “It seems that
they may have discovered that I took a photo of the underwear belonging to the
beautiful Eris Cult’s priestess while shouting ‘This is truly Aqua-sama’s
blessing on this wonderful world!’. Cecily-san, I’m going to go into hiding to
avoid arrest so please prepare to help me escape.”
“Understood, Zesta-sama, I’m going
to work on it right away!”
Zesta-san was about to flee but I
caught and pinned him to the ground.
“Yunyun, we’re going to hand this
degenerate over to the police.”
“Right!”
“Oh come now, let’s not bother the
police over such trivial matters.”
“Ah what are you two doing? If you
continue, Aqua-sama will rain down Divine Punishment on you two!”
There’s no telling what they might
pull off to avoid arrest, so this was the best course of action.
“Well you see Megumin-san, Yunyun-san,
Zesta-san IS the head of operations at the Axis Church so it would be really
troublesome if he got arrested suddenly--”
“I’m sure there are many people who
can replace this old man. Actually, isn’t 90% of the Axis Church’s bad
reputation due to him?” As I was answering Cecily Onee-san who seemed troubled
over this, I noticed something strange about Zesta-san. He was barely
resisting.
“Yunyun-san, if you could press your
breasts against my chest a little more, I would be less inclined to resist.”
“I have another more efficient way
to make you stop resisting!”
I have to admit, I almost admire him
for staying true to his desires even in a situation such as this. Although he
did quickly stop resisting once he noticed Yunyun reaching for the dagger
around her waist.
“I guess it can’t be helped. The
beautiful Eris Cult priest is already very mad at me. Let’s just go and try to
settle this out of court.”
“Huh? I thought you would resist
more but you gave up rather easily.”
Saying this Yunyun released Zesta
who got up and said, “I’m the head priest of the Axis Church after all. The
reason I did such things to that priest's underwear was in retaliation for
spreading the bad news about the Axis Church. Cecily-san, please bring me my
underwear."
“I understand Zesta-sama. Are you
going to give her your underwear as compensation?”
“If you try to apologize in such a
way I’ll shoot you with Explosion magic. Is that clear?”
Seeing himself run out of options,
Zesta decided to turn himself in and grabbed some Alcan buns from the church as
a way of saying sorry.
(TL Note: Alcan buns are those
special buns they have in Alcanretia, you can see them in the anime and Bakuen
manga)
“Come to think of it, what are the
two of you doing here? Ah but don’t feel shy, you're welcome to stay even if
you don't have any official business here.” After seeing off Zesta, Cecily
Onee-san asked.
"Actually, Yunyun and I had
promised each other that once we had settled down in Axel, we would go and meet
the people who took care of us on our journey. So today, we're here to see you
Onee-san.”
Just as I said that, Cecily Onee-san
gave Yunyun and I a big hug. “I accept your proposal! Let’s be happy together
for the rest of our lives, all three of us!”
“I was just talking about hanging
out so stop saying such stuff! Yunyun stop being embarrassed and say something,
you’re making this worse!”
***
When we opened the door to the
adventurer's guild, the adventurers there looked at us and smiled. “Would you
look at that, it seems a bunch of kids have lost their way and wandered here.”
“Haha, what’s wrong kiddos? Did your mama tell you to go run some errands?”
The adventurer's guild in Alcanretia
seems to be a hangout for rogues.
“Yunyun, it seems that they are
trying to pick a fight with us. You know what we have to do right?”
“Of-of course, I-I’ll fight anyone
who tries to challenge me!”
“What are you- Guaw!” “Wait I was
just kidding- Toff!”
“Hey where are you two—ah wait a
second why are you two fighting with someone already?!” For some reason, an
unusually panicked Cecily-san came to rescue the adventurers from our wrath.
I handed the man who teased us first
over to Cecily-san.
“Why did you stop me Onee-san? As an
adventurer it is my duty to teach the hierarchy of power to fellow adventurers
in our first encounter!”
“Megumin acts rather strange most of
the time but here I totally agree! And it is the rule of the Crimson Demons to
accept all challenges given to us and face them head on with full force!” Yunyun
said this with glowing red eyes while pointing a dagger at the other man.
Sometimes I think Yunyun is even
more passionate than I am once she gets over her inhibitions.
“I-I apologize for getting involved
with members of the Crimson Demon Clan!” “Right, it was our fault for teasing
you! But please throw that dagger away, you’re way too young to use those
anyway!” The two men who had been teasing us are clearly showing that they
intend to surrender.
But I don’t think I want to slack
off at this point.
“The Red Prison academy taught us
that if we leave an enemy half beaten, they will always come to haunt us in the
future, so it is best to finish them off in the first encounter itself!”
“That’s right! This has gone too far
for peaceful resolutions!”
“I know it is wrong to expect common
sense from Crimson Demons but as a priest I think I should stop you......”
When Cecily-san, an Axis Cultist,
started talking about common sense, both Yunyun and I were shocked.
When the men who were getting beaten
up by us heard this, their faces changed.
“A priest...AHHHH AN AXIS CULT
PRIEST!!!!!??” “I’M SORRY! I DIDN’T KNOW THE THREE OF YOU WERE WITH THE AXIS
CULT!”
I just realized that I was being
horribly misunderstood by the way the two of them apologized, half-crying.
“Wait a second, Yunyun and I are not
members of the Axis Cult—”
“Ah we understand! We are going to
go donate to the Axis Church right now but please spare us!” “I can’t deal with
someone who is both a Crimson Demon and a member of the Axis Cult! I’m getting
out of here!”
Although we tried to resolve the
misunderstanding, the two men ran away as fast as they could...
“As expected! The two ran away
crying thanks to the fear and brutality of the Crimson Demons!”
“N-no! The reason they ran away was
because they mistook us as Axis Cultists!”
“Y-yeah that’s right, it’s not like
people would instinctively run away from us Crimson Demons!”
After the guild had quieted down
from all the noise from earlier, we went to the guild quest board.
After seeing off Zesta-san, Cecily
Onee-san said that she wanted to come questing with us to see how much we had
grown.
And then there was Yunyun, who said
it was always her dream to form a party with friends and go on adventures. The
three of us formed an unbalanced temporary party, with each member being what
would be the rear guard in a normal party.
“Ah, being in a party full of
beautiful girls is normally the privilege that only heroes get so I can’t let
this opportunity slip past me! After all, getting close to one of your party
members and eventually marrying them is highly possible!”
“This party composition will make it
difficult to face monsters head on, we need someone to act as a shield. Now
which one of us would be the best for that task...”
Ignoring Cecily, who was shouting
some embarrassing things out loud ,and Yunyun who was examining the quest with
seriousness, a piece of paper caught my eye. “Defeating the frenzied Spirit of
the Wind?”
Once upon a time, the adults of the
Crimson Demon Village made it snow in the summer just to anger the Great Spirit
of Summer and fight it, but if someone didn't do something unnecessary like
that, the spirits wouldn't go out of their way to cause harm...
Cecily heard my muttering and looked
at the quest form from the side, “I’d like to help you out on quests but I’m
afraid your Onee-san wouldn’t be of much use to fight the Wind Spirit. I can
deal with Devils and the Undead but I do not have any way of attacking
spirits.”
I'm mostly curious as to why the
spirits are running wild in a place like this, but if I were to accept the
request anyway, I would like to quell their anger as an apology on behalf of
the Crimson Demon Clan who cause these spirits trouble on a regular basis.
“Onee-san, may I take on this quest?
Spirits are immortal beings so even if they are defeated, they’ll come back to
life eventually and by that time their anger will have subsided.”
When I asked this, Cecily-san let
out a big smile, “Of course I’m fine with this! I love this pure and innocent
side of Megu-tan.”
(TL Note: Tan (たん) is intended as a babified or affectionate variant of -chan especially
in nicknames, because of how some young kids call ‘chan’ as ‘tan’. It’s like calling someone their ‘wittle baby’ instead of ‘little baby’)
“If you don’t want to see my less
innocent side stop calling me Megu-tan! Yunyun are you okay with this quest?”
“Hmm, our safety is the number one
priority but at the same time if a quest is too easy it wouldn’t be very
memorable. So, the quest to take care of these long-winged bees is not good for
creating memories. And with Megumin’s sheer firepower by our side, I think we
can afford to...”
Yunyun, who continued to examine the
quest board with a serious face, was completely in her own world.
---
Yunyun was leading the way through
the forests that surround Alcanretia as she puffed out her cheeks in discontent
while hacking her way through the bushes with her favorite dagger.
“Would you please calm down already?
And isn't this somewhat Yunyun's fault too? I was calling out to you, but you
were pretty much stuck in your own fantasy world.”
“I know it’s my fault, but you are
way too cruel! By the time I found the optimal quest I turned around in
excitement and yelled ‘I’m fine with this quest!’ I was facing an old man who
just smiled at me and said ‘Ah....that sure is good for you.’ Do you understand
how awkward I felt at that moment?! How could you leave without telling me?!”
I wanted to say that I didn't
understand what she was talking about, but I felt like I would be strangled if
I said that, so I kept quiet.
“Even the old man took pity on me
and said, ‘I feel bad for you, I may be a retired adventurer but if you want, I
can help you out with your quest.’ I was almost going to accept that invitation
as well!”
“You should be more cautious! You
almost went with a strange man at the Adventurers' Guild in Axel as well!”
As we were arguing with each other,
Cecily burst into laughter.
“The friendship you two share is
just adorable! I wish I could just watch you two argue all day while eating my
food.”
“I'm not trying to be a good friend;
I'm just making sure this naive bloke doesn’t get taken advantage of.”
“Hold on a minute, I may be unable
to make friends but the last thing I want is Megumin calling me naive! You
would have been destitute if it weren’t for the party that recently took you
in-OWOWOW!”
As I was pinning Yunyun down for
saying things that should not have been said, the forest suddenly became noisy.
It seems that our little tussle
attracted some monsters.
“Yunyun-san, you shouldn’t make so
much noise in monster infested forests.”
“Yunyun, you need to stop making a
fuss and get ready for the incoming fight!”
"Yes, I'm sorry to both of you!
It's true that I was the one who made the most noise, but there's something
about it that just doesn't make sense to me!"
Yunyun drew her dagger and wand out
while Cecily Onee-san put her hands in Yunyun’s direction.
“Protection!”
A pale light enveloped Yunyun's
body.
“Thank you, Cecily-san! Enemy
Search!”
Enemy Search is a variant of the
Enemy Detect skill that mages use. Yunyun glared sharply at the east side of
the bushes and readied herself.
“This feels like a real adventuring
party! We feel like real adventurers right now!”
“Why is Megumin behaving so
childishly all of a sudden!? Rather, you should also help out right now!”
I’m just excited, there are no
crusaders here who rush into the middle of the enemy’s lines and interfere with
the use of explosive magic, nor are there any Archpriest who do unnecessary
things such as agitating the monsters without even casting support magic.
Well, time to do what I do best.
“The only thing I can do is use
explosion magic. If I use it, I won't be able to do anything for the rest of
the day, and this area will turn to dust, will that be fine?”
“Please tell me this isn’t how you
usually behave on your quests! I can only imagine the hardships Kazuma-san
faces on a daily basis—Ah, Light of Saber!”
A wolflike creature which jumped out
of the bushes was promptly cut in half by Yunyun’s attack.
As soon as Light of Saber's magic
disappeared, another wolf pounced on us from the bushes. But Yunyun was unfazed
by the surprise attack and stabbed it in the side of its neck with a dagger.
Perhaps due to the time she spent
alone training, Yunyun has become much more proficient in using the dagger that
was initially bought as just a fashionable accessory.
When she was in the academy, she’d
hesitate to even hurt the Green Onions, she sure has grown a lot.
I couldn’t help but exclaim at
Yunyun’s unexpected performance.
“As expected from my rival! With
your Enemy Search skill, magical proficiency and close quarters combat skills
you’d make a great solo party!”
“If this is an attempt to rile me up
it’s working! Lightning!”
Yunyun screamed in frustration as
she launched her spell into the bushes.
A high-pitched scream echoed around
the area and eventually the wolf-type monsters became silent, as if they had
all been wiped out.
“I guess that’s it then. I didn’t
even need to use my immense powers today.”
“I have a lot of things to say about
those ‘immense powers’ of yours!”
While we were fighting, Cecily
suddenly knelt down in front of the corpse of wolf monster and prayed...
“Oi Onee-san are you feeling
alright? Did you eat something funny? You are acting like a real priest today.”
“You’re telling me something really
unusual, your Onee-san is a priestess as you can clearly see! Yunyun-san, could
you please cremate their bodies?”
Moved by Cecily Onee-san’s words,
Yunyun nodded. She used wind magic to blow away the fallen leaves and tree
branches around the area to probably prevent a forest fire.
“Energy Ignition!”
The corpses of the wolf like monster
burst into flames in the blink of an eye and eventually all of the remains were
cremated without leaving anything behind.
“It seems even Axis cultists know
how to behave properly once in a while.”
“I think Megumin-san is too harsh on
our noble religion much like the rest of the world. We are a venerable organization
that has helped saved many people such as yourself, don’t you agree?”
Although I do mind how the Axis Cult
behaves on a daily basis, I’d like our archpriest to be as thoughtful as Cecily
Onee-san as well sometimes.
“Ah would you look at that, the
frenzied spirit has come to us seeking salvation.”
We looked at what Cecily Onee-san
was referring to as a sudden gust of wind cut through the area.
We saw a beautiful woman whose body
was half transparent and floating in the air.
It was the Spirit of the Wind, but
something was clearly wrong with it.
“Σ θ π ▼!ƱƟ!”
“It’s okay, you’re
safe. My two teammates here will bring you back to your senses.”
Cecily Onee-san was saying this with
folded hands but for some reason, the way the spirit was speaking seemed as if
she was just an angry person instead of an enraged spirit.
“Hey Megumin,
isn’t this spirit—”
“Yeah it is only
looking at Cecily Onee-san angrily. I think she is just furious at Axis
Cultists.”
“Hey wait a
minute the two of you. Do you think that if you blame us Axis believers for
everything things will go smoothly for the rest of the world?”
Cecily Onee-san stopped her priestly
act and retreated while sweating but without taking her eyes off the spirit
which had been glaring at her since she arrived.
“ƟƱᴣ▼ΩʘфҘ!”
“Yeah see, the
spirit is pointing at Cecily-san and shouting. It seems genuinely angry at you
specifically.”
“No, no, no. This
is definitely a frenzied spirit! If this continues to go on like this, I feel like
I’m going to get seriously hurt, so can the two of you please defeat this
spirit and make it calm down!”
“Not really she
seems pretty normal.”
Cecily Onee-san was pleading for us
to do something while hiding behind my back but no matter how you look at it,
this spirit seemed to be a-sane one.
“No, no, Megumin-saannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!”
Cecily-san cried out as the spirit approached us and opened her mouth to say
something.
“ơ ф Ʊ ?” (TL NOTE: I’m not typing all
of that gibberish again and again)
Yunyun spoke to the spirit in a
language we could not understand.
For some reason, the spirit looked surprised
and pointed at Cecily while telling Yunyun something, “□ ◊”
“▬ ▼…..”, It seems
that Yunyun and the spirit are able to communicate with each other in the
mysterious language.
“I’m rather
curious as to when you learned the language of the spirits but what is she
saying?”
“I only recently
learned the language of spirits as up until now I had prioritized learning the
languages of humanoid monsters such as goblins, orcs and such—Anyways the
spirit is saying—”
I’m still curious as to how Yunyun
learned all these languages, but she explained why the spirit was angry.
“It seems the
Axis Cultists are to blame after all.”
“Wait a minute
Megumin-san! Just because the culprit was a male priest doesn’t mean that he
was from the Axis sect so it’s too early to draw any conclusions!”
The spirit was summoned by an
Elemental Master but after being sexually harassed by a certain male priest, it
seems to have lost its purity and gone berserk.
And when she finally came to her
senses, she was wandering in the forest, separated from her summoner…
“Yeah there’s no
way anyone other than the members of the Axis Cult would do something as
depraved as sexually harass spirits.”
“I know many
people who would do such a thing but I can say for sure that at least I don’t
have anything to do with this. Yunyun-san, could you please tell the spirit to
calm down and allow me to find the culprit?”
“I understand!
See Megumin, this is why it is helpful to learn different languages of humanoid
creatures! Ahem, □ ◊€Ω ◑◑……”
Yunyun happily started translating
and I realized that I should also learn the language of the spirits.
---
“Something about
this doesn’t seem right.” Cecily Onee-san muttered as we returned to Alcanretia
from the forests.
It’s true, Axis Cultists always act
strange but right now it seems like everyone is searching for someone and their
expressions look terrifying.
“In addition to
the Axis Cultists here it seems there are police officers here as well, right?”
Yunyun tilted her head as she said this. The police force, who are almost like
the natural enemy of the lawless bunch known as the Axis Cult, seem to be
working with them to look for someone.
Cecily grabbed a fellow Axis cultist
who was walking with a police officer.
“Hey what’s
going on? It seems like everyone in town is searching for something.”
As soon as the onii-san saw her, he
cried out in joy, as if he had been saved from something. “AH! Cecily-san is finally here! You
see, Zesta-sama is in big trouble right now!”
“Isn’t that
always the case?”
“That’s true but
this time Zesta-sama actually got arrested by the police!”
“Isn’t that
always the case as well? And also, Zesta-sama is sued by the Eris Cult at least
once a week and he said it’s his lifelong duty to keep the police active by
being locked up in a jail cell.” Cecily Onee-san answered immediately again and
seemed puzzled but the Onii-san shook his head.
“After that,
Zesta-sama startes crying with his nose running, apologizes profusely and gives
what little pocket money he has to the beautiful priest of the Eris Cult as
compensation. That’s how it goes every week.”
Does all of this seriously happen
every week?
“Yeah and the
next week he forgets everything and does the same thing all over again without
missing a single beat. But this time it was a little different. First of all,
Zesta-sama escaped from his jail cell today.”
“What is he
doing?! He could have easily gotten out by paying the bail?! Is Zesta-sama
under a curse that will kill him if he stands still and does not commit a
crime?!”
Hearing Cecily’s exasperated words,
thee Onii-san looked a bit worried. “When I went to the safe where our funds are kept, it was empty. It seems
he escaped from the detention center because he was afraid he would be jailed
for the embezzlement of the church’s funds.”
“Hang on…if the
safe was empty, what about my slime jelly reserves that were kept along with the
church funds?” While Cecily was muttering somethings in shock, the police
officer shower her a piece of paper.
“So, Zesta-sama
is currently facing charges of assault, intimidation, escaping prison and
embezzlement of church funds. If you see him, please report it to the police
station.”
After seeing off Cecily Onee-san who
had joined the search for Zesta, I called out to Yunyun. “Are you going back to Axel?”
“That’s right.
Working in this city is still too early for adventurers of our level.”
Even though we had grown up in a
rough environment in the Crimson Demon village, it feels like staying here any
longer would be dangerous for our health.
“Yunyun, let’s
buy some Alcan steamed buns as a souvenir before we go back. Not many people
from Axel visit Alcanretia so they’re quite rare.”
“Is that so? Ah,
but who can I give the souvenir to back in Axel…” While Yunyun let out that sad
murmur, something caught my eye.
A pebble was kicked towards me and
when I saw where it had come from, Zesta was signaling us to come to him from
the gap between two walls.
“Shall we leave
the souvenirs for another time? I think we should head back to Axel quickly.”
“That’s right.
By then surely, I’ll have someone I can give the souvenirs to.”
Both of us pretended we didn’t see
anything and left…
“There’s
something I’d like to ask you two members of the Crimson Demon clan to do!
Please just listen to me!”
“No.” Yunyun
immediately answered without hesitation while I was choosing my words.
I’m surprised, I used to think she
was the type of person to say yes to anything if you asked her nicely enough.
“How dare Yunyun-san
say no to a request that hasn’t even been made yet?! Is this why everyone calls
you a loner?”
“Yunyun, you
need to calm down. Your eyes are glowing crimson.”
The eyes of Crimson Demons glow
whenever we are in an excited or agitated state.
Yunyun doesn’t seem to get along
with Zesta at all for some reason. She exhaled to calm herself down.
“Very well, I’ll
listen to your request Zesta-san who is the head of the church of embezzlement.
What do you want to ask me?”
“Oops, I can’t
ignore being called an embezzler! I don’t want to hear such baseless
accusations from the greatest loner and the masterful user of social
invisibility magic amongst the Crimson Demon Clan.”
“Don’t change my
title or name like that! And I have friends…...they’re just back in the Crimson
Demon Village…”
Yunyun seems to be having a hard
time clearly saying that she has friends even back home.
“I hope you
don’t count mere acquaintances as friends. Because if you apply that logic,
then I’m also Yunyun-san’s friend.”
“Hell no! Zesta-san
is my enemy! He drags Megumin down into a path of evil and says cruel things to
me every chance he gets!”
“If you two keep
making so much noises Zesta-san will be found out. Whatever happened to you
asking us for help?”
“Hmm….the thing
is, this city is currently facing a crisis and I would like to prevent that
from going out of control.”
When I heard the words ‘city in a
crisis’, I remembered a certain incident.
The Demon King’s army was afraid of
the Axis Church and committed a bizarre terrorist attack of turning the city’s
hot springs into jelly slime to cut off the city’s source of income.
(TL Note: See Bakuen Volume 2 or
Megumin spinoff episodes 7 to 8 for reference)
Unfortunately, Zesta-san was falsely
accused in that case and arrested.
Yunyun probably remembered that as
well and gulped. “No way, are you telling me that the Demon King’s Army is back here
again…?”
“I doubt this is
the doing of the Demon King this time. However, the city is in a crisis that
needs urgent intervention. Could you two please lend me your strength?”
The fact that he was asking us for
help rather than the other Axis Cultists seems odd…
“I see, so that
does confirm that you embezzled funds of the Axis Church!”
“Yes I did,
however, I swear by Aqua-sama that it was for important matters and not
frivolous personal spending.”
…
“Well, I still
can’t help but feel suspicious about this.”
“Agreed, we
cannot completely trust Zesta-san as long as the embezzlement accusation turns
out to be false.”
As we were about to leave, Zesta
said something we couldn’t ignore. “Actually, the funds from the Church’s safe were used to hire Crimson
Demons.” As we stopped involuntarily, Zesta kept telling us what was going on. “This happened
just a few days ago, when along with the Crimson Demon that had been hired by
me, I stormed the meeting place of the evil heretics who were trying to spread
their malicious influence into the city.”
After hearing Zesta’s explanation, I
suddenly remembered something.
“Ah, you came at
just the right time Megumin-san. Just the other day we were butting heads
against some evil heretics, but it seems they’ve settled down for now.”
(TL NOTE: Just scroll to the start
of the chapter for this)
If I recall correctly, Zesta said
something along those lines as soon as I came to this town and met him.
“Perhaps the
reason why Zesta-san received summons from the police was because….”
“Yes, I had
initially thought that I had driven all the evil cultists out of this town but
it seems they are still in hiding and planning to have me captured and put out
of the equation.”
Actually, isn’t he just assaulting
people in the name of vigilante justice, and they rightfully complained to the
police as victims rather than being malicious conspirators who are out to get
him?
“Umm, what
exactly did you mean by ‘lending you our strength’ back there?” Yunyun asked
Zesta.
“I cannot just
back down after falling prey to the devious schemes of these evil heretics. So,
first of all, I need your help to escape.”
Time to go home then.
“Hey where are
you two going? At least see this first.”
As we were about to leave, Zesta
flashed a ticket at us. It said ‘Crimson Demon Employment Ticket’…
“This is a
ticket that I received as a free gift from the Crimson Demons I previously
hired. With this, I can hire a single Crimson Demon above level 30 or two
Crimson Demons below level 25 absolutely free of cost. Oh, by the way, what are
your current levels?”
---
In the calm city of water and hot
springs, Alcanretia, maniacal screaming could be heard from the main street.
“Zesta-sama
should be around here somewhere! If he tries to run away this time surround him
and beat him to a pulp! We have healing magic so as long as he doesn’t die
there should be no problem!” Those screams belonged to a rather angry Cecily
Onee-san.
“Don’t let your
guard down even if you find Zesta-sama and surround him! He won’t hesitate to
use magic even against fellow members of the Axis Cult!”
As I hid in a trash can in one of
the back alleys, I regretted coming to this town once again.
And which idiotic adult from the
village issued such tickets?! Many of us Crimson Demons earn money by being
hired as mercenaries, how is being forced to work for someone for free even
fair?!
As someone who grew up in the
village and used such tickets often, I couldn’t just tear it and throw it away
as well.
While I was regretting my life
decisions and wondering about what to do, Yunyun, who was also hiding in a
trash can, whispered to Zesta.
“Zesta-san could
you please squeeze yourself a bit more? This dumpster is very tight to fit
into!”
“Just what are
you saying? I’m way more cramped here than you are! And out of the three of us
Yunyun-san is the one who takes up the most space because of your erotic
features here and there, you overly erotic girl.”
These two have started an ugly fight
inside the already cramped trash can.
“An e-erotic
girl?! What the hell do you mean by that? I’m not particularly erotic in any
way!”
“It hurts to see
that you think your body is not erotic. What was Yunyun-san’s age again?
Because I’m sure you’re lying about it. Are you sure you’re not a succubus?”
As expected of the patriarch of the
Axis Cult, he has the gall to casually say things that no one would say out
loud, especially to a girl.
“AH! How dare
you call me a succubus!? I’ll never forgive you! All right if it’s a fight you
want then let’s go! A Crimson Demon always delivers on the challenge that is
given to them!”
“You seem to
have gotten full of yourself since you defeated me with a surprise attack last
time when I wasn’t even fighting you! Very well, let’s officially battle. Just
don’t go crying about harassment if I accidentally touch you here and there on
some sensitive spots during the battle, since the laws of duels allow skin to
skin contact!”
A surprisingly belligerent Yunyun
flipped the lid of the trash can open and jumped out with a wand in her hand as
did Zesta while spewing some of the worst threats I’ve heard in my life.
It seems the option of stealth is
eliminated, so I also burst out of my trash can.
“I heard Zesta-sama’s
voice from here! He’s in that alley!”
“And I heard
Yunyun-san’s voice as well! Yunyun-san, just leave that old geezer behind and
come over here, I’ll introduce you to all of my friends!”
“Huh?!” x2
Since these two were fighting they
got discovered easily. I sighed and brushed the dirt off my cloak. “Now I leave the
rest to you two, I’m going to say my farewells to Cecily Onee-san and head
home.”
“Wait Megumin
don’t just leave me behind! I will go meet Cecily-san too!”
“I won’t let
either one of you run away! If you abandon me here, I will start spreading
rumors about you two that aren’t true!”
Zesta started to give us some
ridiculous threats as we pretended to forget about the tickets and tried to run
away.
He seems to be forgetting that
making so much noise will attract the Axis Cultists here. “Light of
Reflection!”
“Over here, I
think I heard Yunyun-san’s voice from this alley. Huh, where is she?”
The moment Yunyun cast her
invisibility spell, Cecily appeared from the corner of the alley. “Both of you
stay close to me. We’ll move out of here slowly.”
“Light bending
magic? It seems to have worked in just the nick of time.” We walked past Cecily
who seemed to be looking around.
“That’s strange.
I can definitely smell the aroma of beautiful girls from around here...”
While Cecily was sniffing around and
saying some absurd things, we managed to slip out of the back alley safely.
We moved to a place that was
isolated and Yunyun broke the spell.
“Haaaa………..we’ve
come this far, Zesta-san will be able to escape from here, right? I even helped
cremate someone’s remains and let them pass on without regrets. I want to go
home now.”
“What are you
talking about Yunyun-san? The real battle begins now! We have to burn down
those heretics!”
Zesta started saying some outrageous
things and Yunyun shook her head in panic.
“N-no that’s
impossible! Even if they’re bad people, we can’t use offensive magic while in
the city!”
“Same here, I
don’t want to be complicit in your crimes. I think helping Zesta escape was bad
enough so I can’t help you any further.”
Upon hearing our words, Zesta’s
shoulders dropped down and he exhaled. “...I guess it can’t be helped. It would be terrible to involve two young
people into this mess.”
My heart started to ache at Zesta’s
sad appearance, but I couldn’t afford to be carried away.
Knowing his usual behavior, this is
probably an attempt to get some sympathy from us.
“I’m sorry Zesta-san.
If you want to run away to the town of Axel, we can use Yunyun’s Teleport skill
to take you there in an instant. Would you like to go there?”
Zesta shook his head at my proposal.
“I refuse, as
the head of the Axis Church I can’t just abandon my city in such a state and
run away. If you two wish to go home then do so, don’t worry about me. I have
gotten myself out of worse situations.”
We were shaken by his sudden priest
like behavior.
Zesta turned back and exhaled
deeply. “In any case, the Crimson Demons I hired the other day were truly
amazing adventurers. They didn’t back down even when face to face with
countless of those evil heretics and they said ‘We’ll complete our jobs as long
as we get paid! And fighting against so many enemies is rather cool!’ they
showed me why the name of Crimson Demons is one that strikes fear into the
Demon King himself….”
…
“The evil
heretics turned pale and ran away as soon as they saw them, which is to be
expected from the famously strong and earnest Crimson Demons.”
(TL’s Note: Zesta is a manipulative
dickhead)
It seems that Zesta is trying to
instigate us.
“By the way,” Zesta
started speaking in a plain tone which was completely different than before. “I, a mere
Archpriest, am going to confront those dangerous heretics all by myself.
Meanwhile you two Crimson Demons should probably go back to the safety of your
homes. After all, such intense battlefields are no place for young kids such as
yourself, even if you are part of the great Crimson Demon clan.”
We were moving around the city using
Yunyun’s light refraction magic.
“Zesta-san, us Crimson
Demons always deliver on our promises. You better keep your word and defeat
those evil heretics like you said you would.”
“Of course!
Today I shall show you two little girls the true powers of the patriarch of the
Axis Church!”
“Why can’t the
two of you ever cooperate quietly? We are going on a raid so we should have
each other’s backs. Although when you decide to beat up Zesta-san please do
call as I would love to join in.”
While I was having fun provoking the
fight between the two, Zesta suddenly stopped.
“It seems that
the evil heretics predicted our attack. They have gathered the police force to
protect them.” Saying that Zesta pointed to a group of people in the distance
wearing robes and hoods which covered their eyes.
Next to them were a large number of
police officers standing guard and forming a wall, as if to block someone’s
escape. And along there were-
“They seem like
members of the Axis Cult, so calling them evil heretics is pretty accurate. But
they seem to be…apologizing?”
Cecily and the other Axis Cultists
appeared to be bowing their heads over and over again in an apologetic manner
to someone…
---
“We’re really
sorry about Zesta-sama! We really are! As soon as we find him, we’ll put him
through the ringer!” “That’s right! He’s a nut case who only cares about the Axis Church and
nothing else! Even that is something I doubt he cares about these days!”
There are two famous religions in
this world.
One of them is the Eris sect, which
also happens to be the country’s official religion. And the other is the
infamous Axis Cult.
In addition to these, there are
villages where their primary belief is in the spirits which rule the elements,
they are called animists and there are some who worship magical powers.
Individuals can worship whoever they
want as long as they don’t harm or bother others and there are even some
religions which worship minor goddesses and have no more than a single
follower.
In other words, what I want to say
is—
“Hey Megumin,
that person being apologized to, doesn’t he seem like an Elemental Master?”
Judging from the accessories and
clothing of the person receiving all those apologies, he seems to be an
Elemental Master known as a Spirit User or Animist.
“Zesta-san, is
that the evil heretic you were talking about?”
“Megumin, I also
think we now know who the sexual harassing priest was that the spirit was
talking about.”
Both of us glared at Zesta.
…
“There is no
need for any teachings other than those provided by our Goddess Aqua-sama,
especially not the ones from her junior Eris! I will not accept anything other
than Aqua-sama’s words of wisdom!” Zesta, who was proudly complaining about
such trivial things, suddenly approached the Elemental Master and Cecily. He
then started tap dancing, taking advantage of the fact that he was invisible.
Perhaps feeling cocky about a
situation where he cannot be seen, Zesta started to provoke the Elemental
Master by sticking his tongue out at him.
“...Hey
Megumin?”
“Yeah?”
“What are we
doing here?”
“What we are
about to do is break the invisibility spell and go back home.”
“So that’s why
we can’t pay you right now but I’ll make sure you get the money later so please
drop that lawsuit on….Zesta-sama?!”
“What are you
doing suddenly appearing like that Zesta-sama?!”
“We were apologizing
on your behalf, why the hell did you show up now?! You just made this worse for
us!”
Yunyun broke the invisibility spell
around Zesta.
And despite the shocked reactions of
the Axis Cultists and Elemental Master indicating the effect of Yunyun’s magic
had worn off and Zesta was just standing there like an idiot, he had a relaxed
smile on his face for some reason.
“Whoops, seems
the effect wears off after going away from the caster. No matter, I’ll just—” Zesta
turned around to face us.
But he didn’t see anyone, probably realizing
that Yunyun had cast the spell on only the two of us this time.
“I wanted to
play more but Yunyun-san is cruel as always. Now, you evil heretics! I, Zesta,
the patriarch of the Axis Church and his followers will chase you out of our
city!”
“The suspect is
captured and will be brought the police station. Zesta-sama you have the right
to remain silent.” The police quickly handcuffed Zesta as he was accusingly
pointing at the Elemental Master.
Well, that case is settled.
“Cecily Onee-san,
I’m going home for today but I’ll come back another day to visit.”
“That’s right,
it seems Cecily-san is also going to be really busy from now on.”
“Indeed, I’ll be
pretty busy managing the Church while everyone decides on the next head. You
should come back when things have calmed down a bit.”
After Zesta was taken away, the Axis
cultists bowed to the Elemental Master while we laughed cheerfully.
“I am really
sorry for all the trouble that he caused for you. We’ll be back later with some
Alcan buns to apologize again.”
“No, no, no it’s
quite alright. Just leave me alone…” The Elemental Master left, seemingly
panicking about meeting them again.
It’s strange, seeing the Axis
Cultists showing such a healthy attitude…
“We may have
overlooked some of Zesta-sama’s strange behavior but if he’s assaulting
innocent people we cannot overlook that.”
“Ah... I see.
That being said, I would like to leave this place as soon as possible...”
The police officer tried to reassure
the Elemental Master while glaring at Zesta, but they just wanted to leave as
soon as possible after having dealt with the Axis Cultists. Can’t say I don’t
understand that sentiment.
However, that was when Zesta, who
had been listening obediently so far, let out a small murmur.
“Powered.”
As soon as he said that Zesta’s body
glowed and the handcuffs around his wrists burst open.
“Zesta-sama?”
“Are you trying
to resist arrest Zesta-san?! This will only make your punishment worse!”
Zesta was able to tear away the
handcuffs thanks to the magic buff he gave to his strength.
The Axis Cultists and police
officers there tried to catch him, but—
“Speed gain!
Protection!” Zesta continued to cast magic to buff himself and avoid their
attacks.
Wait, this is bad! He isn’t a
Crimson Demon, but for some reason he has the unique crimson color in his eyes
right now!
“Zesta-sama! The
number of Animists is small, and their faith is sparingly spread to others,
committing violent acts against them is downright criminal!”, “We can still
make it up for what you have done so far! Please calm down and don’t make it
any worse!”
The Axis Cultists and police
officers tried to calm Zesta down, but he ignored them and cast a spell. “The Great
Goddess Aqua-sama lend me your power! Blessing!”
After casting the spell which boosts
one’s luck, Zesta ran towards the hooded figures and started to throw his fists
out carelessly.
The man next to the Elemental Master
with a hood over his eyes was knocked over in one blow and their hood fell off.
“AH! He actually
did it!”
“Zesta-san as
expected you really are a—huh?”
“That emblem….”
The man who was knocked out by Zesta
was wearing a necklace with a strange symbol on it.
Just like the Crusader in our party,
a lot of dedicated members of religious sects wear necklaces with the symbol of
their sect on it.
And the symbol on the fallen man is—
“A DEVIL
SUMMONER! Devil worship and summoning is prohibited everywhere in this country!
Everyone here, remove your hoods at once!” The police officer shouted, and the
faces of the Axis Cultists suddenly turned cold. The men slowly started
retreating without removing their hoods.
…Wait the police officer said that
Devil Worship and summoning is prohibited, but I distinctly remember there
being detailed books on how to summon them back in the Red Prison library…
While the police officers and Axis
cultists buzzed around the genuinely evil heretics, Zesta showed us the Crimson
Demon Employment Ticket again.
“Now you can
fight them without hesitation right? Show them the power of the great Crimson
Demons!”
“Ah wait Zesta-san,
it’s true that their activities are forbidden but that doesn’t mean you can
just use violence against them!”
“Right, we’ll
take care of the investigation and the people of the Axis Cult should—”
Before the police officers could
even finish, Zesta, the Axis Cultists and us, the Crimson Demon mercenaries
employed to protect the city of Alcanretia, attacked the Devil Worshipers.
Police officers began to interview
the men lying on the street. Apparently, these guys are a minor religious group,
and they came here to get revenge on the Axis Cult for making their lives a
living hell by spreading news about their activities.
However, it seemed they had
underestimated the intensity of the Axis Cult and their strange tendencies and
were getting ready to discuss their future plans until Zesta attacked their
meeting hall with the Crimson Demons.
They were terrified of the Axis Cult
and the Crimson Demons and were about to leave the city under cover until they
were attacked by Zesta again.
“I never could
have thought that Zesta-sama was really fighting an evil cult all by himself.”
“But I always
believed in you Zesta-sama! Your most loyal worker Cecily never ever doubted
you even for a second!”
Apparently, in addition to those
Devil Worshipers there were also some Necromancers associated with them who
wanted to gain immortality. So, for stopping two notorious sects, Zesta’s stock
is currently skyrocketing.
---
As the group of cultists was being
led away by the police officers,
“Well if you
bunch think this is going to be a happy ending for you, you’re making a big
mistake.” Zesta said to Yunyun and the Axis Cultists who were trying to leave
quietly.
“Eh….why are you
looking at us like that?”
“Ah! Zesta-san,
you’re our comrade! We’re like friends right-I mean…Uh… comrades in the battle
against the heretics?”
For some reason, Zesta quietly
braced himself as Yunyun’s smile started to fade away. “Powered.”
“Oh that’s
right, Zesta-sama isn’t totally in the clear yet. You may have forgotten this,
but you still embezzled my Slime savings that were in the locker. However,
since I was suspicious of you, I guess we can forgive each other today. I’ll
start by saying I’m sorry.”
Cecily said those words while
backing away, but Zesta didn’t seem to care at all. “Speed Gain.”
“Ze-Zesta-san!
We fought against those Devil Worshipers earlier today so we’re comrades,
right? That means we’re basically friends and you won’t do anything rash,
right?!” Even though Yunyun was in a fighting stance, I can notice that she is
also trying to back away.
“Protection! I
learned an important lesson from the Crimson Demons I hired recently, that you
always accept the challenges that are given to you and face them with your full
force! Your body is all grown up, but your acting skills are still at the level
of a small child who can’t even pretend to be good at making friends!”
Yunyun pulled out her wand and kept
it ready for battle.
It seems that she has forgotten that
using offensive magic is prohibited in cities and towns. But I also think
Yunyun just doesn’t get along with Zesta at all.
“You violent
little girl of the infamous Crimson Demon clan, in the name of our Goddess I
will put an end to you and the rest of your heretical clansmen who try to
summon demons for fun!”
“This old geezer
just called us heretics!”
“Zesta-sama has
gone insane, we will have to beat him up to bring him back to his senses!”
I gave Yunyun a small nod as the
Axis Cultists also started to get riled up against Zesta. “So we are from the infamously evil
Crimson Demon clan, right? Now that you’ve picked a fight with us, we can’t
possibly run away now, let me show you how evil we can really be!”
“Exactly, I
don’t want to hear such words from the leader of the Axis Cult! I will never
forgive you!”
Cecily put her hand over us as we
shouted angrily.
“Both of you
leave the support to me! Let’s knock some sense into this old man!”
While receiving support magic from
Cecily,
“Yunyun let’s
go! We need to show them just how much we’ve grown on our journey!”
“I have learned
Advanced Magic now so don’t think you can win so easily!”
When we first came to this town, we
were being hunted down by Arnes. Zesta helped us chase her away back then but
now, it is time to show him how powerful we have become.
“Alright, now
that you two hatchlings who were scared of a female devil not too long ago have
apparently become masters, show me just much you have grown! Great Goddess Aqua-sama
please me give me your holy blessing, Highness Blessing!”
As Zesta was spreading his hands
like a priest and loudly proclaiming, I lived up to my title of ‘Crazy
Explosion Maniac’ and attacked him with Yunyun before he could finish.
End.
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