Dear Crimson Magic Village – Continued! Konosuba: An explosion on this wonderful world! BD Short Story #3

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Dear Crimson Magic Village – Continued! by Natsume Akatsuki

Illustration by Kurone Mishima

Originally published alongside the Konosuba Explosions BD 3 on September 27, 2023.

Japanese scans provided by Catzuma Gaming

English translation by H. Berry (aitch99berry@gmail.com)

[Dear Crimson Magic Village.

I guess the letter I sent the other day should be arriving soon.

Many months have passed since I arrived in the city of Axel. For a while, I was heavily in debt, but it’s all been paid off and I’m doing well now.

This town is filled with weird eccentrics, but somehow, I don’t feel uncomfortable here.

The occasional troubles my party members cause is good stimulus compared to the peaceful life back at the village.

Is everyone doing well?

Maybe someday, I’ll bring my companions back home.]

I was writing a letter in the living room, Chomusuke resting on my lap.

“Our party lacks sex appeal,” Kazuma, the party leader, suddenly complained from his spot on the sofa.

I really don’t understand that man. At times, I just want to strangle him.

I figured I could finish the letter later, so I asked him what he meant by that absurd statement.

“I know I shouldn’t encourage you, but what exactly were you thinking when you said that? Depending on your answer, I might just throw Chomusuke at you!”

“Hey, that’s animal abuse! I’ve always thought you didn’t care for that cat!”

Sensing danger, Chomusuke tried to flee, but I quickly grabbed her.

I’d treat her better if she were a normal cat, but...

“I mean, at a quick glance, anyone would say this is a harem party, right? One guy and three girls, yet we’ve never had any sexy stories! You guys should be fighting over me, but you know...”

“You want to be romantically involved with one of us?”

Though Kazuma often says weird things, it’s true that, when men and women are in an adventurer party, they tend to end up together.

“Well, you’re all pretty and all, but you’re also all crazy! If anything, I’d prefer to have nothing to do with you guys. I’d like to be fawned over and respected, with people saying things like ‘Kazuma, you’re so amazing!’ or ‘As expected of the great Kazuma—!’ Wait! Megumin, put the cat down!”

Chomusuke escaped from my grasp as I was about to punish Kazuma for his foolish wish.

“Why would you want such an arrogant master? Come here, I’ll spoil you,” Kazuma said, perhaps understanding Chomusuke’s feelings. She climbed onto his stomach.

“Chomusuke tends to like lazy people, so it’s no surprise she’s fond of you. But speaking of sex appeal, our party has plenty, just look at Darkness.”

“Hey, Megumin! What did you say about me?” Darkness suddenly appeared at the door, tea set in hand.

“Darkness isn’t sexy, she’s indecent. A sexy girl would make a man’s heart flutter; she’s just gross.”

“Hey, Kazuma, why don’t we go to the garden to train? It’s such a lovely day after all.”

Kazuma glanced at Chomusuke as she skirted around his stomach. “Nah, you’re too weak. I’m a veteran adventurer. Come back when you can actually land a hit.”

“Huh? Aren’t you being a bit too confident after your recent accomplishments?” Even Darkness sounded annoyed at Kazuma’s implication that she was too weak for him. “It’s true that my attacks don’t land often, but I’m confident in my resistance. Say, if you can make me say ‘I give up,’ you win. But if I land even one hit, I win. Of course, we should bet something—how about the loser has to buy snacks with their own money?”

Kazuma stood up and approached Darkness.

“Wait, Kazuma, not here! In the garden! We’ll do it in the garden! Stop, don’t put Chomusuke there—!”

Kazuma placed Chomusuke on the tea set tray that Darkness was carrying.

“Just hang on for a bit, okay? This girl will go and buy some snacks for you.”

“You coward! I won’t give up!”

She seems to be having fun.

“Really? Okay then, hey Megumin, I’m going to make Darkness do something sexy, so make sure you pay attention.”

“Wait, no, stop! I give up! I give up!”

Ignoring her, Kazuma sat down in front of Darkness and began hugging her knees.

“Next time I go to that special store, maybe I’ll ask for a dream where I can mess with a girl who can’t move…”

“Hey, I admitted defeat! What else do you intend to do!?”

At that moment, Kazuma lifted the edges of Darkness’ skirt and made it flutter, just as Aqua came rushing in through the front door.

“Hey, everyone, listen up, it’s amazing—! Oh, Kazuma is playing perverted games with Darkness, can I play too?”

“Sure, we’ll mess with her until we get tired. She can’t move.”

“I’m not playing anything! Aqua, help me out, and I’ll buy you a drink!”

If not for me, the sensible one, this party would be a complete disaster. I sighed, sensing trouble, and stretched out my arms toward Aqua as she crept closer to Darkness.

“What’s this amazing thing you mentioned?”

The Adventurer’s Guild was filled with excitement.

“Hey, Kazuma and the rest are here!”

“Finally!”

The adventurers rose in cheers, causing us all to smile.

I did my best to suppress a grin and called out to a nearby adventurer. “I understand you’re all excited to see Axel’s premier party here, but could you tell us why? All Aqua said was that the guild called for us.”

Everyone suddenly looked away.

“Don’t ignore me!”

“Megumin, calm down! This is obviously a trap. They must’ve persuaded the useless goddess into accepting a dumb quest. Maybe they even tricked her so we wouldn’t be able to back out!”

As Kazuma tried to warn us, sensing the imminent danger, the guild receptionist approached.

“Now, now, Kazuma, please don’t say that. Let’s talk!”

“No, no. Let’s get out of here, it must be a quest nobody wants to do! Some shitty request that only our party is suited for,” Kazuma said, but the receptionist grabbed him by the chest as he screamed to be let go.

“Kazuma, Kazuma, at least listen to what she has to say, okay? If you still don’t want to do it, just say no. Besides, you’re probably curious about what the quest is, right?”

“That’s right. Just as Aqua said, as adventurers, we must always help someone in trouble.”

With Aqua and Darkness’s insistence, Kazuma reluctantly gave in. “Ugh, if you say so… but my instincts are telling me not to listen to her.”

My high intelligence also tells me it’s better not to listen, but I’m curious, nonetheless.

Not wanting to miss her chance, the receptionist spoke up.

“—Nooooooooooooooo! Why do I have to go too!? This is a punishment, isn’t it?!”

“Now that we know what the problem is, we can’t just leave it alone! That’s why I didn’t want to hear it to begin with!”

We noisily made our way through the forest near town. It seemed that many undead had been spotted there recently.

When it comes to undead monsters, priests are always the best suited to deal with them. As someone who hates demons and the undead, Aqua couldn’t ignore this, or so we thought…

“But it’s so hooooooot! Let’s deal with them after it gets a little cooler!”

It was the height of summer. Needless to say, zombies in summer are pretty terrible.

“I don’t want to deal with the zombies either! But it can’t be helped!”

Yes, despite the discomfort, we had to take on this quest…

“The zombie outbreak coincided with you going to the forest for mushroom hunting! It’s obvious what attracted them here!”

“We don’t know that! Maybe Wiz wanted to smell some zombies and summoned them! There must be another reason why they came here!”

According to the receptionist, the zombies started appearing after Aqua went to the forest. Although she didn’t directly blame us, it was clear the guild was suspicious.

“If a zombie shows up, it’s going to charge at you, so take the lead!”

“What are you thinking, putting the Archpriest forward!? This is when the Crusader steps in!”

“N-no, Archpriests are an all-purpose class often deployed to the front lines…”

This was a real mess, but despite everything, there was no sign of any monsters around here.

Just as Kazuma said, if there were any undead around, they’d flock to Aqua.

Darkness, who was at the front looking at a map, suddenly stopped. “Apparently, there’s an abandoned graveyard around here. That’s the only place I can think of where zombies might appear…”

“They won’t just appear out of thin air. Anyway, Aqua, do you have any idea where they might be?” Kazuma asked, nodding.

“You do, right?” I pressed. Aqua suddenly started to panic.

“I sort of—Stop that! You’re going to tear my cheek off!” Aqua pleaded with teary eyes as Kazuma pulled one of her cheeks.

“Listen, I’ll tell you everything, but promise you won’t get mad.”

“Oh, so there’s something to be mad about.”

Aqua then went on a lengthy story about how she did it all for us, but to summarize:

“So, rather than hunt for mushrooms, you were growing them. Since this area is quite spacious, you scattered spores and waited for them to grow.”

…

“Darkness, let’s take her to the police.”

“Aqua, I’ll bring a blanket to jail. Even though it’s summer, nights are still cold.”

“Wait, don’t throw me away! It’s true that Cowdyceps can be dangerous if grown improperly! But what mushrooms aren’t dangerous?” Aqua pleaded, her arms outstretched in an attempt to appeal. “Like, Enoki and Shimeji mushrooms can move pretty fast. Black Truffles emit a sweet fragrance that leaves you mesmerized. And Matsutake, well, let’s not forget how angry they can get.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Matsutake get angry? What?”

It’s common knowledge, even among children, that the Matsutake mushroom, also known as the King of Mushrooms, is the strongest and most delicious mushroom in the world. But they’re also quite temperamental and prone to violence, claiming several lives every year.

“Even a child knows that! But why is hunting dangerous mushrooms fine, but growing them isn’t?”

“If you go pick them, you do it at your own risk. But growing them can put others in danger,” Darkness answered immediately, leaving Aqua silent.

“…waaaaah, Darkness, please! Apparently, these mushrooms are used to make expensive potions! I picked a bad place this time, but next time I’ll do it right!”

“Don’t even think about it! Cowdyceps[1] are dangerous parasites that can take over their host…” Darkness tried to persuade the crying Aqua.

Darkness tried to persuade the crying Aqua.

“Hey, Aqua, how much are we talking about?”

“Don’t make things worse, Kazuma!”

Suddenly, I noticed something strange about this place.

It’s quiet. Too quiet for the middle of the forest.

While everyone else was distracted, my Crimson Magic instincts prompted me to take action.

“Everyone quiet! They’re coming!”

Darkness and Kazuma braced themselves in response to my alarm.

“What is it!? Zombies!? Are they coming from underground?” Kazuma began stabbing the ground while Darkness looked around vigilantly.

Amidst all this, Aqua kept her cool. “What’s coming, Megumin? I can smell those stinky undead from far away, so I’m sure there are no zombies nearby.”

“My Enemy Detection skill isn’t reacting either. Is it something that can trick it? Megumin, what is it!?” Kazuma was nervously sweating.

“Um, don’t you think it’s too quiet here? Even though it’s summer, I can’t hear any cicadas…”

“It’s quiet thanks to me! I heard it’s best to grow mushrooms in a quiet place, so I placed a silence barrier around here.”

While Aqua smugly praised herself, my face heated with embarrassment.

Kazuma and Darkness tried to hide their laughter.

“…hey, your shoulders are shaking.”

“And your cheeks are twitching. Megumin, why don’t you get on the lookout—”

“If you’re going to laugh, then laugh! It’s embarrassing to be treated like this.”

But then…

“Everyone shut up! This isn’t a joke, I can smell it—the stench of death!” Aqua turned serious.

“It pisses me off when you try to act dignified, but my Enemy Detection skill can sense it too! Unlike before, they’re really coming!”

“Cheer up, Megumin! It’s no mistake this time!”

“S-shut up! If we’re fighting and the zombies were infected with Cowdyceps, then it’s time for my magic to shine. Keep them away while I chant!”

To hide my embarrassment, I readied my staff and began casting.

“Hold on, Megumin, you can’t use explosion magic here—”

Just as Kazuma was mumbling something dumb, a huge explosion rang through the previously quiet forest.

Yesterday sucked.

Things had gone well until we found the mushrooms, but then we were chased by a huge horde of cicadas summoned by the loud explosion and had to flee back to town.

Although Aqua’s illegal mushroom farm wasn’t punished because we settled the matter, it came at a great expense to the party. The shame of nearly being defeated by cicadas.

While I was writing a letter for the village, editing yesterday’s events, Aqua, who was lying on the couch in her pajamas, said, “Yesterday was a mess! Cicadas pride themselves on how loud they are, they took the sound of your explosion as a challenge. This whole mess is your fault!”

“My fault!? I may only take blame for the cicada attack, but the reason we were there to begin with was your mushroom farm! It’s your fault!”

Of course, I omitted the insignificant detail about the cicadas attacking us from the letter. There was no need to write about something as trivial as that.

“By the way, Megumin, what have you been writing all this time?”

“A letter to the village. I’m writing about what happens here, about my friends, my daily life.”

She was quiet for a moment, then said, “Let me see.”

“No.”

As I struggled to stop Aqua from reading the letter, Kazuma appeared in his weird tracksuit, yawning. “Good morning, you guys are lively this morning. I was so frustrated about nearly being killed by cicadas that I couldn’t sleep last night.”

“You couldn’t sleep because you’re a night-owl NEET! We’ve lost to frogs, what’s the big deal about losing to cicadas?”

“Giant frogs are monsters, but cicadas are just insects. We must be the only adventuring party in history to be defeated by cicadas.”

…I made the right choice to omit that.

The front door banged open. Darkness arrived, out of breath, holding a piece of paper.

“I don’t want to know about it.”

“I haven’t said anything yet! There’s trouble!” Darkness forcefully showed Kazuma the paper. “Please, let’s take on this quest!”

It was an extermination request for a certain monster.

A bleeding spider.

They’re uncommon around here and not particularly strong. Any half-decent adventurer party should be able to handle them.

“Why are you making such a big fuss about it? I know that as a noble you have to protect the city, but—”

“…Megumin, what’s the deal with that spider?” Kazuma said, looking at Darkness suspiciously.

“They have a weird habit of wrapping their prey up and then tormenting them without eating them,” I explained. Kazuma’s eyes narrowed, “And because they just release their prey, they’re not considered dangerous. They’re devils rather than monsters, they feed off emotions.”

“Screw that, I’ll just relax at home!”

“Yeah, let’s stay here and drink to recover from yesterday!”

“Wait a minute! They may not be dangerous, but they’re rare! I had to pay a lot at an auction to get one! We can’t let this slip; other adventurers will hunt it down!”

“…Wait, what did you say? Auction?”

“I did not say that.”

Apparently, the bleeding spider had been spotted around a mine in the mountains.

After being scolded, Darkness took the lead along the rough, rocky mountain path in a somewhat elated mood.

Kazuma asked how the spider got here, and she said she was playing with it in her room. After wrapping her in its web, it escaped through the window.

“It feeds off negative emotions, right? It must’ve been frustrated that it didn’t get any off you and bailed.”

“Kazuma, saying that a bleeding spider ran away from me is disgusting and could ruin my reputation. Don’t word it like that. I believe it just wanted to return to the wilderness.”

The mine had been closed off until the spider was defeated, as fighting it could cause landslides.

For the sake of the miners, it should be dealt with as soon as possible…

“We’ll get rid of any monster we see. Megumin, be ready to cast your magic at any time.”

“Leave it to me. I can wipe out this whole mine anytime!”

“No, don’t even try to hurt Tiffany!” Darkness protested.

“No, the whatever spider is a devil from hell, right? All devils must be slain!”

“Not Tiffany. I bathe her often to make sure she doesn’t smell, using good shampoo too! I’m sure she’s scared somewhere around here, but I’ll definitely bring her back home!”

A while ago, I read that cats often run away from their homes because they don’t like being bathed with shampoo.

Kazuma suddenly froze. Following his gaze, I saw a pillow-sized spider peering at us.

“Tiffany, there you are! Come back home! I’ll do my best to suffer from now on so you can feed off that!” Darkness spread her arms and pleaded.

The spider seemed at ease as Darkness slowly approached her…

“Snipe!”

“Tiffany!”

Kazuma fired an arrow that hit Tiffany directly in the head. Though being a huge weakling, he didn’t do enough damage to kill it in one hit.

“A punch will finish it off. Out of the way, Darkness, I’ll take it down with my God Blow!”

“I will not let you harm her! I’m taking Tiffany back home!”

As Darkness struggled with Aqua, Tiffany approached Kazuma.

I began chanting my spell, ready to take it down.

“Tiffany, over here! If you’re near me, that little girl won’t use Explosion magic! Just wrap Kazuma up so he can’t harm you!”

“Hey, what the hell are you doing!? Aqua, let’s switch opponents! I’ll take care of Darkness; you deal with the spider!”

Kazuma tried to move towards Tiffany, but Darkness blocked him, hands on her hips. “Do you really think you can take me on? I admitted defeat yesterday because I couldn’t move, but if we fight head-on, the weakest class isn’t beating me!”

“Bind!”

“Tiffany, I’ll hold him back. You try to escape on your own! Come back home when you’re tired of living here!” The wrapped Darkness called out to Tiffany.

“Waaaaaaaaah, Kazuma! This spider is unexpectedly strong! Help me, Kazumaaaaaaaa!”

I finished my spell while Tiffany held Aqua hostage.

“Megumin, I’ll get the spider to back off. Once it’s far enough from Aqua, use your magic!”

“I’m ready!”

Right on cue, Kazuma held his palm towards Tiffany. “Wind Breath!”

Unable to withstand the gust, Tiffany was pushed back.

“Wait, wait! I’ll put up a higher bounty to capture Tiffany alive! And I’ll improve security in my house so she won’t run away again!”

“…How much are we talking about?”

While Darkness and Kazuma argued, I saw my chance!

“EXPLOSION!”

“TIFFANY!”

My Explosion magic obliterated a part of the mountain and, tragically, Tiffany. The sound of the explosion and Darkness’ screams echoed across the mountains near Axel.

The next day,

“Cheer up, Darkness. I’ll catch a spider from the attic for you to keep as a pet.”

“I don’t want a spider, I want Tiffany! I thought the texture of her fur after shampooing would make the perfect pillow…”

I’m pretty sure she ran away because she didn’t want to be used as a pillow.

While I comforted the sulking Darkness, her knees hugged to her chest, Kazuma returned from collecting the reward for defeating Tiffany.

I figured he’d be in a good mood, but for some reason, he looked tired.

“Darkness and Aqua already caused trouble, and now you too!? Do you all have a disease that kills you if you live in peace or something?”

“What the heck are you talking about? Did I do something? If anything, I’m the one with the most common sense in this party.”

“No, no. I’m pretty sure that’s me,” Darkness suddenly regained some composure.

Ignoring her, Kazuma handed me a piece of paper. Apparently, it had something to do with me…

“Who put up this quest? Defeating Axel’s Explosion Demon? If you want war, I’m right here!”

I rushed into the Adventurer’s Guild and grabbed the receptionist by the collar.

“T-the guild can’t reveal client information, and that quest has nothing to do with you—”

“If not me, then who’s this Explosion Demon!? I’m not handing that title over to anyone!” I shook her.

Kazuma hit me on the back of the head, “You always get mad when people give you nicknames, but Explosion Demon is fine?”

“I don’t like it, but I don’t like when anyone else is called that either! The only master of explosion in this town is me, Megumin!”

According to the request, recently someone had been attacking adventurers with explosion magic.

It made me mad that Kazuma suspected me, though I should be the only one in this town capable of using explosion magic.

As I pondered this, Kazuma showed the quest to the receptionist.

“So, do you have any leads on the culprit? If it’s not Megumin, then who’s casting explosion magic for no reason?”

I wish she’d told me.

“According to one victim, it happened after dark. He couldn’t see the attacker’s face, but he said they were wearing a yellow and red robe…”

“Alright, give yourself up. I’ll get you a good lawyer.”

“Why are you trying to arrest me!? Sure, I’m wearing the typical yellow and red robes of the Crimson Magic Clan, but I wouldn’t go out attacking random adventurers!”

If someone from the clan were to attack an adventurer, there’d be a good reason for it.

“Did the adventurer mock the Crimson Magic Clan? Tease their name, look at them funny?”

“Do you really think we have such a short fuse!?”

Although it may seem like we fight for no reason, we always accept a challenge when provoked.

“No, he’s a well-respected adventurer, his entire party has common sense.”

She glanced at us as if implying we weren’t like that.

But this is a good chance to clear up any misconceptions people might have about us.

“Very well, I’m already used to being the culprit behind the explosions, but I’ve cleared all doubts every time! I’ll show you the high intelligence of the Crimson Magic Clan!”

“Most of the time you’re accused because you’re the one responsible!”

We approached a large crater in the plains surrounding Axel.

After accepting a quest, we brought Aqua and Darkness to the scene of the crime.

“You’re underestimating me! Even my weakest explosion couldn’t make a crater this small. Kazuma, as an explosion connoisseur, what do you think?”

“Now that you mention it, it’s smaller than the craters your explosions usually make.”

Kazuma knows my explosions well. He could tell this crater was only about a tenth the size of one made by my magic.

“Besides, the heat from my explosions is so intense that it turns the hypocenter into glass. Also, look—the crater isn’t even a perfect circle. It’s distorted, like an oval.”

“You’re right, it lacks beauty. But maybe you’re just getting sloppy.”

Darkness and Aqua were whispering behind Kazuma.

“Darkness, Darkness, how do you appreciate a crater?”

“I have no idea, what’s an explosion connoisseur anyway?”

More like the traces of a crater…

“I can sense remnants of magical power. This is definitely basic explosion magic. Judging by how sloppy it is, the caster probably learned it just a few months ago.”

Aqua and Darkness kept whispering.

“Darkness, Darkness, what are magical remnants? How can you tell just by looking at this? And how do you know when someone learned a spell?”

“I have no idea, aren’t you more knowledgeable about magic?”

Perhaps intrigued by my observations, Aqua began to wander around the crater. “…hey, this smells like undead.”

Why is she always so attuned to the undead?

“…the dark, gloomy undead prefer damp places. There must be a cave around here where they’re hiding.” Aqua sniffed the air as we walked along the mountain path.

Behind her, Kazuma was desperately trying to persuade her. “Hey, an undead that can use magic is dangerous, right? It could be a lich like Wiz. We’d be no match for it if it uses explosion magic!”

“Silly little Kazuma. There’s no way I’d let an undead go unchecked around here. I doubt it’s that strong. Liches aren’t the only undead that can use magic. Vampires and—”

Kazuma suddenly stopped.

“Stop! My Enemy Detection skill is picking up something near the cave ahead!”

Kazuma pointed toward a gaping cave on the side of the mountain.

I’ve been there before. Almost every adventurer in town uses it as a resting spot during sudden rain showers.

“Kazuma, that’s an important resting place for adventurers. We have to do something. I’ll go ahead first…”

“You just want to get away with making an explosion.”

As Darkness and Kazuma argued, a heavy voice echoed from inside the cave.

“Well, well, look who finally showed up. Are you here to defeat me? Don't make me laugh. You’re nothing but small fries. My power grows with the night, and I’d suggest you scurry off before the sun sets, or else you’ll regret it.”

“Kazuma, Kazuma, did you hear that? The enemy is a weakling undead that can’t even step into the sunlight! It smells too weak to be a vampire, and it’s so rude[2]! It must be a Wight King.”

Aqua mocked the voice coming from the cave, but I also had an issue with how rudely it was talking to us.

“Now that we know the culprit behind the random explosions, let’s go report it to the guild!”

“What are you babbling about, Kazuma? No need to be scared of some pitiful undead. It can't even go out in the sun! I'll just summon some holy water and flood the cave.”

“Hold on, hold on! Let me explain something, will you? I’m sorry I called you small fries, but I’ll give you some credit for recognizing me as a Wight King. Now, don’t you think you should know why I’m here?”

“Aqua, let me take on this monster! Explosion wizard vs. explosion undead! I’ll show you whose explosion is better!”

“No way! Defeating undead is my job! I’ll just flood the cave and see how long this Wight King lasts!”

…

“Let’s hear him out,” Kazuma intervened, and the mood shifted to something quieter.

“Well, fine. But once he’s done talking, he’s going down!”

“Ah, where do I begin? Alright, listen up, it’s a long story. I’ll tell you why I attack adventurers. It all started when I was reborn as an undead.”

The Wight King’s voice was dripping with disdain.

“About six months ago, right after I became a Wight King, I saw this glorious light coming from the direction of Axel—”

“Explosion!”

“Ah!” Aqua screamed.

“My Crimson Magic heart demanded I take the finishing blow! Only Aqua agreed to listen to him, I made no such promise!”

“Waaaaaaaaaaah! I wanted to purify him!”

With that, my Explosion magic turned the cave into a tomb.

While Kazuma and Darkness reported the slain Wight King at the Adventurer’s Guild, Aqua and I headed back to the mansion.

“Megumin, that was totally unfair! Slaying undead is as important to me as your dumb explosions are to you!”

“Stop calling my explosions dumb!” I groaned, trying to recover my mana while lying on the sofa, but Aqua kept rocking me back and forth. “Besides, it was a trap. It wanted us to listen to it so it’d get dark before we noticed. I made the most sensible decision!”

“You’re starting to sound just like Kazuma! I’m going to read that letter you were writing while you’re still too tired to move.”

“Wait, no! It’s rude to read other people’s letters!” I protested, but Aqua had already grabbed the letter from the table and was gleefully opening it, “I was going to revise it! I was writing about how great my companion Aqua is!” she said with a mischievous grin.

“…if you write good things, then I guess I don’t need to read it

Aqua accepted the deal and brought me a pen.

Barely able to move, I took the letter and began reading.

[Dear Crimson Magic Village,

I guess the letter I sent the other day should be arriving soon.]

“Hey, hey! Megumin, where are you!”

“What’s the matter, Kazuma? Yelling as soon as you get home is rude!”

[Many months have passed since I arrived at the city of Axel.

For a while, I was heavily in debt, but it’s all been paid off and I’m doing well now.]

“While we went to collect the reward, tons of people complained about the destroyed cave! It wasn’t just any cave; it was a guild-managed cave used as a refuge for adventurers!”

[This town is filled with weird eccentrics, but somehow, I don’t feel uncomfortable here.

The occasional troubles my party members cause are good stimulus compared to the peaceful life back at the village.]

“How could I know that? There was a monster living there, of course I used my magic. If anything, it’s the guild’s fault for not managing it properly!”

“Why can’t you ever think things through? The other day you wiped out half the forest when fighting the Cowdyceps zombies, and you also destroyed a whole mine! We’ve received many complaints from both the Hunting and Mining guilds!”

[Is everyone doing well?

Maybe I’ll take my companions home someday.]

“Hey, I only used my magic in the mines because you told me to!”

“I explicitly told you to wait! This is your fault, so it’s your debt!”

[Right now, I’m focusing on paying another debt before going back home.

Things are tough, but I’m blessed with great friends, I’m sure I’ll be able to pay it quickly.]

“W-wait a minute, Kazuma. I can’t pay it all on my own! How about I press my chest further when you carry me back after using explosion magic? I’m sure there are many people who’d pay handsomely to carry a beautiful girl like me on their back!”

“I’m the leader, not a piggyback rider! I told you this party needs more sex appeal, and you have the least! I feel nothing when you press against me! And, by the way, because everyone at the guild knows about you, they gave me a weird nickname too. Freaking Lolima[3], I’ll kill you!”

[Very few people in this town don’t know my name.

I hope to continue performing unparalleled feats in the future as to live up to the name of the Crimson Magic Clan.]

“Hey, what’s that paper you’ve been hiding? Let me see it!”

“I refuse...! Wait, this is a letter for my home village! It’s indecent to read a private letter! There’s nothing weird about it, let go!”

“No! Judging by how you’re resisting, you must’ve written weird things. Darkness, help me out. I’m sure she wrote about you too. Censor her letter!”

[This has been a long letter; I hope you’re all safe and in good health.]

“Um, well, it’s true that exposing what happened to the world would be a bit of a nuisance. Right, I’ll change it—ah!”

“Ah! Megumin! Darkness, take the letter out of her mouth!”

“Are you really willing to go to such extremes!? Tickle her, make her spit it out!”

[And I hope to see you all again soon!]

[1] Here’s a joke that can’t be properly translated. In Japanese Akatsuki calls these things 冬牛夏草, a play on words from 冬虫夏草, which means caterpillar fungus, just changing 虫=insect, for 牛=cow. So, I guess you could call them something like cow or bovine fungus. But you know what the scientific name for the caterpillar fungus is? Cordyceps, so I went with the dumb pun, Cowdyceps. There may be more to this that I’m no getting.

[2] Here’s another joke that can’t be properly translated. The monster refers to himself using “Ore”, which is an overly dramatic way of doing it. Aqua and Megumin take issue to that, like he’s trying too hard to sound intimidating.

[3] Loli+Kazuma, right? Well, in Japanese it’s a bit deeper. Written in Japanese,ロリ魔 has several interpretations such as King of Lolis, or Loli obsessed person. Though if it was used on Megumin instead, it could be interpreted as Magic/Devil Loli.