What did I get myself into?
It’s been quite some time since I joined this party. I’m grateful that they welcomed me with open arms, a nobody who was inexplicably rejected by every other party.
I’m truly grateful, I really am, but…
“Hey Megumin, we’ll be helping some fishermen today. We’ll be knocking out some fish with your Explosion magic and then catch them.”
“That kind of stupid work again! What do you think my magic is meant for?!”
“But you had no problem using it for construction work last time?”
“Ugh—I... That’s because I still got to blow something up…”
The name of the man who uttered such an idiotic thing to me, the number one genius of the Crimson Magic Clan, was Kazuma Satou. He isn't fazed by the destruction my magic brings, nor does he ever have any good use for it either…
“It’s better than blasting your spell off for no reason. After all, you haven’t done that stupid one-explosion-per-day routine of yours today, right? Instead of using it to cause trouble for others, at least this time you can help make an old fisherman happy.”
“Don’t you call it a stupid routine, please! Using my magic for fishing...! Don’t you mind? I may look like this, but I am called the number one genius of the Crimson Magic Clan...”
“Yes, yes, let’s go. I’ve already spent all of our commission’s advance anyway. Can’t say no now.”
“At least listen to me until I’m done! This is the first time I’ve been treated so poorly!”
It had been more than a week since I started adventuring with him, yet this is the first time I’d ever had someone speak so bluntly to me and treat the Crimson Magic Clan so lightly.
“Ah, you’re finally here, Megumin, you’re late! Look at all these fish here! Come on, do your thing, do your thing!”
Someone was waiting for us at the lake, her name is Aqua, and she is just as odd as Kazuma. She does not seem much older than me yet rivals me in magic power and has the rare job of archpriest. The blond-haired heavy armor-wearing crusader, Darkness, was there as well.
Not being a person with much general knowledge she was saying silly things like: “So, this is how you fish...” Even though she looks like the most dependable person.
However...
“Catching fish with my deadly explosion magic... I can’t tell this to anyone in the village, huh...”
“Stop mumbling and get on with it. I told you that I used the initial payment, didn’t I? I used it to seal the crater you made near the town. Stop wasting time and do it you joke mage!”
“Jo-joke mage?!” This man, there’s no limit to his fearlessness!
Very well, I’ll amaze him with the full power of my explosion magic!
As I was chanting my spell, he seemed to notice something: “Yes, right, right. Don’t go all out. Just a mild explosion is fine...” I finished before he could.
“EXPLOSION!”
“Wh-! Why did you release it straight into the lake with all your might! I told you to stun the fish, you blew them up!”
After I used up my magic, we went home while Kazuma carried me. The parties I had joined prior were all reluctant to take on this task, but he did it without complaint. I can’t move after using my magic, so this was the only reason that joining a party was worth it.
“Hey, if you feel a little guilty for asking me to carry you, try pressing your chest a little. I understand that you don’t have much in there, but it’s a little something for me...”
I retract my words, what did I do to deserve this?
It’s rare for people to not hold themselves back like him. If I’m not mistaken, he said that he was from another country, is this what their culture is like? Was he a spoiled child?
“Well, at least we got the required amount of fish. It’s safe to say that the quest was a success.” Darkness was carrying a basket full of fish as her hair was soaking wet.
On the back was a crying Aqua, covered with fish guts “Wah..., Wah... the smell..., stinks....”
As the wave created by my explosion got close to her, with a smug expression she said, “I’m the goddess of water, I’ll be fine!” and did not escape before being covered with fish guts.
She may be quite powerful, good at her class, even her level is high, but she’s an idiot.
Part 2
Wearing casual clothes this time, Darkness read a piece of paper on her hand: “The job this time is to exterminate the field octopus. Seems like the veteran octopus farmer retired, they escaped from his replacement and are running wild.”
“Wait a minute; what did you just say? Octopus farmer? What the hell is that, can octopus even live on land...?” Kazuma raised his hand at Darkness.
“No time explanations, let’s get started! The octopus are supposed to be in the forest!”
Before Kazuma could finish his question, Darkness cut him off and walked away.
For some reason she seems very excited…
“You! Why aren’t you wearing your armor!? Things might get dangerous.”
“No, I refuse.” Darkness answered quickly and happily led the way.
“Darkness, why do you look so happy? Ah, I get it! We can eat the octopus later! Hey, Darkness, octopus tentacles are my favorite. I’ll give you the body and head, so give me most of the tentacles, okay?”
“That’d be such a waste! There are better ways to use them...!”
“Take this seriously, the forest is coming into view.” Aqua and Darkness were oddly arguing as finally, we arrived at the forest close to town.
Wild octopuses are very wary and intelligent, they hide into the undergrowth, and wait for an opportunity to attack their prey.
“Darkness don’t step forward carelessly! I’ll use my detect enemy skill, we’ll go after I confirm its safe”
“But then I won’t be able to protect you from the octopus’ surprise attack!”
“…What did you just say?” Kazuma question Darkness, “...?! Wait, I sense an enemy! Over there, be careful with those bushes!”
“Alright, I understand, leave it to me!”
“I told you to be careful! Why are you going to the bushes!”
As Darkness lunged at the bush, a tentacle appeared out of nowhere. The octopus must’ve been disguising itself as a bush, then it changed its color to a reddish brown, revealing its true form, and stretched out its tentacles, capturing Darkness.
“Ah! It’s a trap!”
“‘Trap’ my ass! I told you that there was something in those bushes!”
The tentacles easily caught the gleefully screaming Darkness as she struggled to free herself.
“Filthy octopus don’t touch me! St-Stop! Don’t wriggle these dirty tentacles inside my clothes-.... He-Hey! Don’t just squeeze, do it properly! What do you think that slime on your tentacles is good for!”
“I’m sure that it didn’t do that to please you! Ah geez, what am I supposed to do with her!” Kazuma was looking at an opportunity to free Darkness from the tentacles.
Aqua on the other hand was collecting twig, seemingly to start a fire and was restlessly waiting for the octopus to be defeated. It looks like she intends to enjoy the moment.
“Darkness, want me to help? You seem to be enjoying yourself, do you want me to come back after an hour?”
“D-Don’t mind me...! Wait, Kazuma, there’s a problem! The octopus is eating my clothes! Wa-Wait a minute, doing something that extreme in the open like this, that’s...!”
“.........”
“Kazuma, hey, Kazuma! Get up! Sa-save me! Stop the octo-...”
“...?! Wh-what?! Look! What is it doing?!”
“Amazing! Hey, Darkness, that octopus turned to the color of human skin when your clothes melted, now we can’t tell if it’s the octopus or you...”
“Yup, it’s very perverted.”
“Save me! I-It’s my fault, I won’t use the octopus anymore! If it continues like this, I’ll be in a state of no return!”
“Explain to me what you mean by that.”
Darkness screamed as the tentacles squeezed her, Kazuma watched sitting on his knees.
...this woman is also very strange, even though she is beautiful. When I first saw her, she gave the impression of a cool warrior, I want her to return my impression.
“Ah, I-I, won’t lose against tentacles!”
“Right, do it like that! ...H-hey, Aqua, stop it! What do you intend to do with that kitchen knife, Darkness is still struggling! I’ll treat you to Takoyaki later; don’t interfere in the good part!”
I feel like I’ve met all kinds of people since I left the Crimson Magic Village, but...
My intuition tells me that of all the people I’ve met, these people are the strangest. Am I really going to be okay...?
Part 3
Today we were going to rest. Or were supposed to, at least.
“...Kazuma, why are you following me?”
“You’re doing your stupid ‘one explosion a day’ routine, right? If you collapse outside the city and are get eaten by a giant frog would be a problem. I don’t have anything to do, so I’ll accompany you.”
“Calling it a stupid routine offends me, though it would indeed be helpful if you came. However, I only use my magic at the end of my day. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to move most of the time.”
“Yes, I get it. Where are you going then? Do you have a plan before releasing your magic?”
He has a foul mouth, often commits sexual harassment, and sometimes says strange things, but somehow, he seems to be a good person deep inside.
“Then, is it okay if we go to the pet shop? I intend to buy my familiar a necklace.” I said as I picked Chomusuke off the ground.
“For a long time, that fur ball has intrigued me. Well, then...”
As Kazuma was saying odd things, someone suddenly grabbed Chomosuke and ran away!
“Wh-...?!”
From their height and physique, they seemed to be a man. However, I couldn’t see his face as it was covered by a hood. It was sudden, but I could see which direction he was running away. Not targeting our stuff but the fur ball means...!
“Hey! What do you think you are doing kidnapping our cat? It’s shabby anyway!”
“Sh-Shabby!? How rude! Who do you this is...!” Hearing that, I was convinced.
Then, Kazuma shouted “CAT KIDNAPPER! SOMEONE GO GET HIM! THAT MAN IS A PERVERTED ANIMAL MANIAC, OUR CAT COULD BE DEFILED!”
“D-dumbass! I wouldn’t do anything like that!”
The people who heard him started to intercept the hooded man. He does not know the identity or nature of his opponent, but without hesitation this man involved the public as well.
It’s fair to say he has a quick mind…
“Ugh, it shouldn’t be going like this...!”
As he was being intercepted, he headed towards a back alley.
“Kazuma, we should split up and surround him! One of us chases him, the other one heads outside, how about it?”
“No need to split up, I have an idea.” After saying that, Kazuma began to toughen his voice again “AAAAAAH! HE’S A MONSTER WITH A BOUNTY WHOSE WANTED POSTER IS IN THE GUILD! HE’S SPECIALIZES IN DISGUISING HIMSELF AS A HUMAN AND HAS NO FIGHTING POWER! HEY, GET OUT OF THE WAY! I’LL CATCH HIM! THE REWARD MONEY WILL BE MINE!”
“...!? W-What are you doing...” The man wanted to refute Kazuma but withdrew after seeing the residents’ gazes.
“Catch him! He has a bounty, catch him!”, “Hey, wait a minute; the prize money is divided equally!”, “Please, give it to me! I’m broke this month!” “Ah! He escaped to the back alley, after him!”
This is evil.
The man hurriedly fled into a back alley in panic while being chased by the locals.
“Alright, then I just need to chase him and wait with my hiding skill. I’ll catch him.”
This man, there’s really no end to his dirty tricks.
...I somehow feel sorry for the thief.
Part 4
The situation grew even stranger in the town’s square.
“Get away from me! Don’t you care about this woman’s life?!”
We had taken a shortcut, yet somehow the man arrived first. He can’t be human, no one should be this fast. Worst of all his hostage was…
“...Hey, Darkness, what should I do? Should I call someone? Or just stay here and shout?”
“No, no need to call anyone, I’m fine. Yes, this situation is not bad... being threatened with a knife...”
Darkness had her hands held behind her back and a knife pointed at her neck by the hooded man. She was calm and motionless, while Aqua was watching her, totally unconcerned.
Perhaps annoyed by the attitude of the two, the man was losing his patience...
“Damn, damn! Why did it turn out like this, my plan to quickly seize Lady Wolbach and escape...!”
There was no mistaking what he said. It seems like he is a colleague of the demons Arnes and Host.
Darkness finally noticed us “Kazuma, Megumin! I was caught off guard! This man threatened me with his knife, held me down, and started venting his lust on me...! He’s been making indecent demands...!”
“I haven’t made any such demands!” While the man was confused, Darkness kept yapping about “Damn it! Kazuma, Megumin! Just leave me! Its fine, even if this body of mine is played with, I won’t let go off my pride as a crusader!”
“N-No, I’m just want that archpriest over there with the dangerous power not to do anything crazy...!” The man falsely accused of sexual harassment seemed like he wanted to cry.
“Why were you thinking kidnapping our cat? We’re penniless, you know? We couldn’t pay any ransom, here I’ll give you the salami I bought for lunch, so go away.” While saying words that were unclear whether they were persuading or threatening, Kazuma tried to give the man the salami he was holding.
Full of anger now, the man began to fume “That’s enough...”
“STEAL!” At the same time as the man spoke, Kazuma used his skill.
With only his luck to boast about, what Kazuma got was...!
“Impossible! Someone like you was able to steal my weapon...?”
If I’m not mistaken, this skill will not work if the opponent has a high level. Getting his knife means that, beyond my expectation, Kazuma must have a very high luck stat.
A disappointed Darkness sighted “This is over, isn’t it...”
Then, the man chuckled “Hahahahaha! No wonder Lady Arnes and Lord Host failed in their mission! Interesting, very interesting!” He finally uncovered his hood “Yes, I am a servant in the service of the evil god Lady Wolbach...” His eyes turned black, and a horn grew on his head.
“Exorcism!”
“Gyaa?!”
While introducing himself, the demon-like man was hit by Aqua’s purification magic and began to roll over while still holding Darkness.
...How could he not let go of his hostage even under these circumstances? What admirable determination.
“H-Hey I have a hostage! If you do that again, I’ll kill her!” Still holding Darkness, the demon-man showed sharp claws, but...
“Try it.” Darkness whispered.
“...Wh…?”
With a serious expression on her face Darkness caught the man’s arm “Not ‘Wh?’ I said do it. You’re a demon. As a devout Eris follower, I have no reason to be involved with demons. I’ll stop you.”
“Wha-...?! You-...! You’re all toying with me...!” With a bloodthirsty gaze, he swung his claws down towards Darkness.
...However, she showed a sour face and remained steady “I didn’t feel anything... Hey, use your strength more! Give a blow that would resonate inside my heart...”
Now, he was frightened “Wh-What the hell is up with this woman? What strong skin, do you eat iron?”
“H-Hey! It’s because of my defense skills, it has nothing to do with my skin! Take back what you said! Change it to something like ‘What impressive defense stats!” Feeling hurt, Darkness began to rage at him while wanting to cry.
A boasting Aqua then said “Looks like your hostage is useless! Despicable demon, I’ll make you regret showing yourself in front of me!” she began to cast purification magic. Seems she intends to release something powerful...
A sleepy Chomusuke showed up from the man’s backpack. Was she dizzy from rolling? Or maybe...
“Are you ready? This time I will unleash a stronger spell than before!”
“Wait! In a place like this....”
Could it be that Aqua’s magic also affected Chomusuke?
“A-Aqua, don’t release your magic yet! Please, I have business with this demon! Let me finish first!”
“What? Okay, it doesn’t matter anyway. But you can’t leave any dirty demon-like existences. If you leave even a little, they will quickly multiply like mold!” Aqua smoothly replied.
“How dare you compare me to- and I don’t have any business with you! What are you saying ….Heh, so is that the case? I was saved. Which means the real hostage against you people is…..Yes!”
“Oh?!”
The man pushed Darkness away and raised Chomusuke from his bag “Let me through!” He pushed, trying to leave.
Damn, if he gets out of here and runs back into town, I won’t be able to use my magic. If I want to destroy it, it must be here, but...
“Who is he anyway? Just let Aqua deal with it, you don’t need to get involved.” Kazuma whispered to me as I was hesitating on what to do.
“So-Sorry, for involving you... He seems to be after my cat...”
Aqua and Darkness may have toyed with him, but the demon is a dangerous opponent. I have engaged such enemies before.
As I was feeling down, Kazuma wriggled one hand “Get ready. Once I give the signal, I’ll leave the finishing blow to you.”
“Eh?” I raised my face to Kazuma.
“Not ‘Eh?’ You’re the attack force in our party. What will happen if you don’t strengthen yourself?” He said something that set my heart on fire.
Why yes, just hearing those words makes me feel good. I started to chant my explosion magic just like he said.
...Ah, that’s right...
“Hey, cat loving demon with a scary face!”
“W-Who are you calling a cat loving demon! This is not just a cat...”
“STEAL!”
“Aaah?! Wh-What...?!”
This is the first time I’ve used my explosive magic at someone else’s behest. A magic that keeps being called a joke. Finally, someone that appreciates it!
Kazuma raised the stolen backpack “Hyaaha! Hey, catnapping demon! How does it feel to be caught off guard by my steal skill twice?”
“He was being so arrogant that cat was easily snatched back! Do it! Come on Megumin, do it with all your might!”, “Go for it, Megumin! Don’t hold back! Demons get annihilated!” Darkness and Aqua added to the humiliation.
Then...
“Fuhahahaha! Demon, the reason for defeat is because I’m here!” The person pointing his finger victoriously at the demon was the weirdest person in the party, yet he felt like the only sane one.
“Crap!”
...I’m sure I’ll suffer if I continue to be in this party, I might also cause troubles.
He doesn’t have a high level, nor is he cool, but...
“Come on, Megumin! Go for it!”
To everyone in the crimson magic village, until now I’ve always been alone.
“EXPLOSION!!!”
But I finally found a party where I belong.
Credits
Feel free to translate this to other languages/ get in touch to further improve, just make sure as to include the credits section as included here. Thanks.
Konosuba Yorimichi Anthology Volume 2 by Natsume Akatsuki
Illustrations by Kurone Mishima
Published by Kadokawa Shoten on November 1st, 2020.
Original crappy translation by H. Berry.
Additional help goku0.
Edited by Felinicity Bone.
Edited chapter title image by u/artgold8 and @jacht_ny, images sent by Felinicity Bone.
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