Aqua was lazing on the sofa while holding a box, looking over she said to me in an energetic voice: “Hey, Kazuma, look, look! Our neighbor shared these potatoes. He was attacked and captured them in retaliation. He turned out to be a former adventurer! Catching this many is amazing!” Saying odd things Aqua happily showed me the potatoes.
That’s right, this is another world.
“I hate the vegetables of this world!”
“Picky eating like that is not good. You’re not a child, eat vegetables!”
In this cruel world, not even vegetables want to be eaten and they too fight to the bitter end to survive.
“Come on Kazuma, it’s time for our useless NEET to shine!”
“I feel like I am a little more useful than a supposed goddess that only eats and sleeps.”
Aqua was eating a buttered potato. Using the cooking skills that I recently got, I was doing the cooking today.
“This potato’s dead, right? It won’t bite?”
“What do you think a potato is? Vegetables can’t bite... can they?” I felt humiliated for being stared at by this idiot, but if the potato’s dead it won’t matter.
Having to be wary of the possibility of an impromptu attack from food would be unreasonable in Japan.
Leaving the skin unpeeled, I pointed a knife at the potato sprout...
“It hurts?! It hurts, it hurts! What is it, it hurts!”
“Wait, what are you doing, it’s dangerous to touch potatoes with your bare hands!”
The moment I touched the blue-colored potato sprout, I felt a great pain.
“Hey, this isn’t dead!”
“It’s not that! Don’t you know that there’s poison in potato buds?”
“I know that! That’s why I’m trying to cut them off!”
This is what this other world is like. You can get hurt just by touching a potato!
“Geez, Kazuma. Characteristically stupid, no common knowledge. Here, I’ll heal you, give me your hand.”
“I’m confident that I’m the least stupid here!” As I protested, I stretched out my swollen hand.
“Sacred Highness Heal! Purification! Cure Poison! ...Bye, go wash your hands properly.”
“Hey, why are you casting so much magic? If I hadn’t let go, what would have happened” It was rare for her to cast magic so strong. Almost as if these potatoes have a deadly poison...
“...I’ll cook, Kazuma go play outside. Megumin is in the garden, how about you go with her?”
“Wait, would’ve I died had not let go?! Was I almost killed by a potato?! If that’s dinner, I won’t eat it!”
Leaving the dangerous cleanup to Aqua, I fled to the garden; Megumin was cutting the long-growing weeds with a scythe.
“Now is the time to determine who is stronger... Come forward!” With a warm gaze Megumi said delusional words to Darkness.
Sighing, I approached them “Hey, Darkness, don’t let her play stupidly like that. We can’t fix her weird name, but we can at least stop her from doing somethings...”
“Wait, Kazuma, don’t approach the fields so carelessly!”
“Huh?” The moment I heard the warning, the foothold under my feet was thrown off.
“Gyaaa! My eyes!” A bunch of seeds hit my eyes directly.
“Casually walking among enemies, what is this man trying to do! Please don’t bother me while I’m hunting weeds!” Megumin said as I was rolling on the ground, covering my eyes with both hands.
With my eyes swollen and red, I got up and went berserk “Why would I be on edge walking through my own garden!? I’ll splash herbicide!!!”
Megumin hurriedly got away from me, while, for some reason, Darkness happily approached...
The ground beneath my feet began to bubble and explode violently.
“......!! ................................!”
“Insulting an enemy to his face, you really have great courage, but that kind of thing is the duty of me the crusader. I want you to stop seizing other people’s fun...” Darkness said with disappointment.
Rolling away to safety I said “Don’t lump me with masochists like you... Who would want to experience this kind of thing willingly!? I’ve lost against kobolds and died from bloated fish; I don’t want to die by fighting lowly weeds...” I began to stand up, unsteadily.
“Lowly weeds? What stupid thing are you saying? Appearing anywhere in soil that’s been given fertilizer, having a zest for life that won’t let you uproot it even if its body is cut off, being so resilient as to grow within the walls of the demon king’s castle itself...” Megumin replied.
The living beings in this world are truly powerful. All living creatures, even vegetables, put in all their strength to survive.
“…I was bullied by weeds in the fields.” That’s something you wouldn’t hear in Japan.
When we returned to the mansion, Aqua was eating buttery potatoes while drinking alcohol.
The drinking goddess, the weirdo witch, the masochistic crusader and then me, someone who was defeated by weeds. I was sent here on a mission to defeat the demon king, but seeing my party members, that seems impossible. After all, even though we call ourselves adventurers, we don’t leave the city much. I feel like we were lazing around more than going out for adventures.
Usually, I don’t think about anything and just laze around, but I’m wondering a lot of things now. We can’t go on like this, we have to go back to being adventurers and wipe out the monsters that threaten the world.
It’s not because I feel depressed from losing against the weeds, nor because I want to bully monsters to restore my honor. I remember my excitement when I first came to this world, it’s not the time to be a NEET in another world.
“Hey, this is sudden, but... how about we go on a quest tomorrow?”
“Come on, Kazuma, hurry up and get ready! Today is the perfect day for an adventure!”
“Yes, it’s a blessed sunny day and we haven’t done a quest in a long time! We’re ready. Everyone is waiting for you and Aqua!” It was early in the morning as Darkness and Megumin were excited at the entrance of the living room.
“Let’s not do a quest, OK?” I was still in my pajamas scratching my chest.
“WHAT?!” said the two, rather surprised.
I felt bad as they were already in full gear, but after sleeping last night, I didn’t care about my defeat anymore. After all, I lost against some weeds. I don’t understand why I should feel upset or angry. Adventuring is exhausting and dangerous, I lost all motivation.
“You invited us and now you want to cancel when we were about to leave?! Do you think I’ll forgive you for putting out the fire of my adventurous spirit like that!” Megumin, whose eyes glowed red, began to vent her anger.
“That’s right! Interfering with my work as a guard in the yard and now this, stop playing with me!!! It’s my duty to receive the attacks!”
“Darkness be quiet for a moment!” Just as the two of them excitedly began to quibble, a relaxed voice was heard.
“Huaah, good morning... huh, you two, why are you dressed like that?” A yawning Aqua appeared.
“Aqua! Why are you still wearing your pajamas! Didn’t we agree to go questing today?!” Despite Megumin’s urging, she showed a puzzled expression,
“Kazuma said that, I didn’t think it’d matter to him anymore after a day.”
“As expected of you Aqua. You know me very well.”
“These two!”
An exasperated Megumin whispered something to Darkness, they were staring at Aqua “Aqua, in the guild there are quests with high difficulty, you know.”
“So? It’s not just because of this NEET, I’m also thinking of doing the quest later. It’s sunny outside and I don’t want to do anything that smells bad, let’s just go for a picnic.”
“We’ll go to the lake with some meat and alcohol. We’ll let Megumin shoot her explosion magic. Then, catch some fish and have a barbecue.” Aqua, face brightened after hearing me, happily began to get ready.
However, Darkness stopped Aqua “Listen to me first, Aqua. There is a special quest... It seems that there is a powerful ghost in the forest near town that even ordinary priests can’t handle.”
We arrived at the adventurer’s guild, and an impatient Aqua headed straight to the reception. “Geez, the priests here are so lazy that they lose against mere ghosts! Most of them are from the Eris cult after all!”
“Nah, just leave the ghost alone. Having a barbecue at the lake would be more fun.”
“You don’t know when to give up, Kazuma. As long as Aqua is motivated, it’s three against one. With the majority in favor, you have to participate in the ghost extermination quest.” Megumin held down the hem of my clothes so that I couldn’t escape.
“Ghosts can’t do physical attacks, so it’ll be a little boring to me... But I’m a crusader who serves goddess Eris. I want to help lost souls. Kazuma, how about doing a good deed once in a while?” Smiling gently, Darkness said, as if was talking to a child.
“By not getting rid of our masochistic crusader, I’ve already done a good deed.”
“B-Bastard!”
Aqua had accepted a quest as I was arguing with Darkness. “A strong spirit has been spotted in the forest near Axel. The reward is 300 thousand Eris! It looks like it’s playing pranks on the people who go into the forest to collect plants!”
“I heard that ghosts appear in places related to their deaths. Maybe the ghost has regrets at the time of its death because it was attacked while gathering plants.”
If I die from plants, I’d definitely become a ghost too.
“Let’s go Kazuma! I need to do goddess-like things. Otherwise, I’ll forget my job!”
“Your job is the same as mine, unemployment. ...H-Hey, stop it! I’m stating the facts, stop strangling me!”
Part 2
Inside the forest near Axel.
Probably so that the people safely pick medicinal herbs and edible wild plants the monsters around here are exterminated periodically, as long as we are not careless, we should be fine. That’s why there is no quest to collect medicinal plants that would usually be in a video game.
In the forest there should have been only a few monsters, yet we…
“Waaaaaaaaaa! Why am I always chased?! I’ve been on my best behavior! I’m an archpriest and a goddess!” A crowd of deer-like monsters were chasing Aqua.
“It’s because you did something unnecessary! We weren’t caught because of my hiding skills until you began throwing rocks!”
“But they’re deer! Their meat is so good that adventurers leave their quests to eat it. I want everyone in the guild to eat it so they will praise me!”
Does she have a disease that will make her die if he doesn’t make trouble?
Pointing her staff at the deer, Megumin said “Kazuma? Should I annihilate everything with explosion magic?”
“Wait a minute Megumin, your magic is overkill here. Hey, Darkness!”
“Leave it to me! I just need to be trampled wildly by that crowd of deer in place of Aqua, right?!”
“You’re not wrong but choose your words better!”
After I climbed a nearby tree, I took out my bow and drew arrows.
Darkness started running happily and chanted her magic loudly “DECOY!”
The gaze of the deer chasing Aqua instantly turned to Darkness “How is this Kazuma, those beasts are looking at me with hungry eyes!”
“Yes, give me a moment! I’ll shoot them from here!”
“There’s no need to rush, you can defeat them slowly! Do it by the time when it’s almost too late!”
“You, what are you…”
She’s too late to be dealt with in any case.
“Take this! Snipe!” The deer I shot fell while making a shrill sound. I lost against weeds yesterday, but this is my forte. If I’m prepared and alert, I’m strong. After all, I once fought against a high-ranking demon king general...,
“Kazuma, the deer are preparing to attack! Hold onto the tree firmly! Otherwise, you may die again!”
“Eh?! ... Wait-?! What are they doing?! What exactly are they doing!” The deer raised their antlers and smashed the tree I was on.
Sometime ago, when I shot monsters called lizard runner from the top of a tree, I had a similar experience, and died from falling.
As I desperately clung to the tree I screamed “Darkness, help!”
“Why are you always interfering with my work! I was about to be swarmed and attacked by those beasts!” Damn, what an unreliable masochist! My hands are sweating, I’m going to fall if they continue!
Even though Aqua can resurrect me, I don’t want to die!
Looking back, I haven’t had a proper death, I always die from a kobold attack or falling from a tree!
Then.
“□△△! □□X? □△□△!” I heard a strange voice.
As the sound echoed, the rampaging deer immediately ran away.
In front of me a beautiful green-haired girl appeared.
“□△OO？” The girl suddenly popped out her half-transparent upper body from the tree trunk and started speaking in a mysterious language.
Is she the ghost? “Could it be that you’re trying to save me?”
The moment this girl’s voice was heard, the deer-shaped monster immediately fled, that means she probably isn’t an evil spirit.
“△△X△！ □O？ O□O□？” I couldn’t understand her, but a beautiful girl smiling like that it didn’t look like an evil spirit.
“Looks like you’re trying to save me. My name is Kazuma Satou. Let me thank you.” When I said that and extended my hand to her, she looked away, embarrassed...
“□□△O”
“’Scum, don’t touch me’ she said.” I froze after hearing Aqua’s translation.
“...Hey, try saying it one more time.”
“’Scum, don’t touch me’, she said.”
“Don’t repeat it! Uh, what? Did this girl say that? You’re lying, right? Wait, can you understand her?!”
Aqua spoke quickly as I got off the tree “This girl is not a ghost, but a forest spirit called a dryad.”
Seriously? Oh yeah, if I’m not mistaken, she can understand the spirits.
That means she did say that...
“Y-Yes, well, I’m grateful for being saved. I’d probably been killed by those monsters if you hadn’t intervened.”
“□？ OX □△”
“Really? They are not monsters, just deer, she said.”
“So, they’re not monsters but wild animals. I don’t know why I’m losing my confidence more and more...” Continuing from yesterday, I once again suffered a defeat.
Paying no attention to the depressed me, the displaced Megumin came before the dryad. “Could it be that this girl the target for extermination? For ordinary people, a ghost would be indistinguishable to a spirit.”
“□X△△。△？ △O”
“Little girl, careful how you speak about me. A ghost? You’re dumb...’ Wait, Megumin that hurts! I didn’t say that, that girl did!” Megumin punched Aqua as the dryad tilted her head.
“Then, what are you doing in a place like this? We heard that a ghost was bothering the people that were gathering plants, we came to exterminate the ghost.”
“△□△！ □□△△△‼”
“Plants also need to survive!!” Aqua replied with the dryad’s sudden anger.
“What is she talking about? I heard that dryads have a gentle nature and a kind heart. As the daughter of a noble family, I will do whatever I can to help.”
“She said that wild plants are also living things so don’t happily hunt them, spread fertilizer in the forest if you come, because even plants have the right to live! She is getting angry.”
...That’s true, vegetables and wild plants may not want themselves eaten, but...
“But we can’t survive eating only fruits, right?” “We can’t ask people to stop farming either...”
That is also true.
“□？ △□XX”
“Don’t say it’s impossible, have you tried photosynthesizing? Or burying yourself into the ground. The area around here is full of nutrients, you might be able to do it even as a beginner, she said.”
“That’s not possible for us!”
This is troublesome. After all, she saved me, and wasn’t a ghost. Even so, asking the people who collect edible wild plants to provide fertilizer, was...
“Anyway, why did a dryad suddenly appear here?”
“That’s right. After all, plant collecting has been done for a long time.”
Facing the troubled Megumin and Darkness, the dryad smiled “OO△□X△...”
“I heard a rumor from the wind spirits, it seems that the plants of a field in this town receive water rich in magic. I came here for that...”
“…”
“Aqua, come here for a second.” I dragged Aqua, away from the dryad.
“She came here because of you. That rich water is your doing. She meant our fields!”
Aqua closed her eyes briefly and then smiled kindly “...Kazuma. I’ve never felt this good as a water goddess. After all, she heard rumors about me and bothered to come from so far away... Let’s consider this request a failure and picnic at the lake.”
“You’ve been making trouble everywhere! What are we going to do!? From now on we can’t eat plants! Take responsibility and get rid of her!” Here we go again! Another problem that’s her fault.
“What can I do! I’m the goddess of water! It’s obvious that the water I release to would be filled with magic power, delicious, pure, holy, and dazzling! Plus, we can’t let that girl get dragged into evil, can we?!”
“Never mind that, I said get rid of her! If the guild finds out that you summoned her, they’ll demand compensation for the harm she caused!” Despite the situation and Aqua making a scene, the dryad asked Darkness for something, pleading with a relaxed face.
Perhaps affected by that, Darkness turned towards Aqua “Can you translate what she is saying? I want to help her as much as I can.”
Aqua approached the dryad, whispered something, and nodded “She said, as an apology for her friends having been hunted all this time, she wants fresh fertilizer.”
“Fertilizer, right. It’s easy if that’s all. Wait here for a bit, I’ll be back from town soon...”
The dryad tilted her head “△□□？ △△△△”
“'Where are you going? I said I wanted fertilizer', she said.”
“.....? Yes, that’s why I intend to return to the city to pick up some.”
To Darkness’ puzzled expression, the dryad pointed towards the bushes. “△△X, OO△□”
“...It’s not me who said this, okay? 'Do it in the bushes over there, no problem, hurry up...'”
“What does she mean, hurry up?! What does she want a chaste girl to do?!”
The dryad got annoyed as Darkness was flushed up to her ears. “△□△！ △X△O！”
“You said you would do whatever it takes! You said as the daughter of a noble family you intend to help, you liar! She’s angry!”
“E-E-Even if you say that...! A noble doing that outdoors, that’s...!”
“That’s..., what?! Please explain.”
“This man!”
The dryad pointed her finger at a nearly crying Darkness. “X△X、□......”
“A detailed explanation is not needed! What do you want me to say?!” As if to avoid that, Aqua banged on the tree trunk.
What did she say?
“Exterminating her won’t be a problem”
“I feel a bit like that too.”
She might have a worse nature than the tranquility girl.
The disappointed Dryad lowered her shoulders and pointed at me this time “O□、△□□”
“What can I do, that loser over there, give me the fertilizer. Hurry up, she said.”
“Is she trying to ask me to be her errand boy? Yesterday I lost against weeds, but you controlled them, didn’t you!” She’s like a plant boss, in that case, I will take revenge for yesterday.
“Megumin your explosive magic is effective against spirits, right? Let’s destroy her and go home.”
“This is my chance to earn the title of spirit slayer, I’ll gladly do it!” I was provoking Megumin, then a shrill sound rang out from within the forest. It was a scream like the one we heard earlier...
“Are the deer back? There was a lot of screaming, is it going to be fine?”
Recalling what happened, Aqua tried to ask the dryad “You can chase them away like you did before, right? It’ll be fine, right?!” Aqua asked anxiously.
“△□X。△□△□□......。OX！ △△△！” Hearing the dryad’s reply, she quickly ran away.
“Wait! Don’t run away alone! What did she say!”
“She said that there is a boss-like deer in this forest! Then she said that sound was unmistakably him! Now is the time to determine who is stronger... Come forward.”
“If you want fertilizer that badly, I’ll do it in place of Darkness!”
“Kazuma, now is not the time for you to do anything stupid! It’ll be here soon!” Megumin began to shake me as I was lowering the zipper of my pants.
(Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!) A whistle-like scream along with the sound of the ground shaking echoed.
Darkness stood before monsters happily “So many! Alright, I’ll take them all! Fuhahahahaha! Let’s go!”
Part 3
“Waaaaaaaaa! Kazuma! Kazuma!”
“Quick, come here! Climb on this tree!”
“Ka-Kazuma, Darkness is experiencing something extraordinary...” Megumin and I began to pull Aqua up the tree we climbed. Only Darkness remained, mauled by deer while swinging her sword happily.
Nearby, the tendrils of a plant writhed, wrapping around the deer’s legs holding it in place. The dryad had assisted Darkness, but her attacks still missed. She had an amazing defense, but her attacks were useless even with help.
“I’ll reduce their numbers with my snipe skill. Aqua give Darkness some support magic! Megumin...”
“Explosion magic, right? It must be explosion magic. Alright, leave it to me. I’ll turn the entire area around here into ashes!”
“△□△△△！”
“Stop that little girl from unleashing seemingly dangerous magic! She’s making a ruckus saying that. Hey, if we don’t hurry, Darkness will...!”
As Darkness was being mauled by the boss deer, her armor joints shattered.
“Wa-Wait, hey stop-! Kazuma, help me out a little, the damage isn’t noticeable, but if it continues like this, I’m going to experience something serious in another sense...!”
“Yes, I understand, I just need to wait until the last minute, right? I understand that fetish of yours.”
“You don’t understand! This is different from what I want! Please help me!” Darkness clearly did not want to be stripped.
What can I do, I really want to see, but...!
“Aqua, give me support magic. That magic that can perfectly mimic voices.”
“I see, fine! You want to imitate the voice of Darkness! You want to do roleplay as the cornered girl, I’ll join in too.”
“That’d be fun, but no! I’ll show you what I intend to do!” Keeping the bow in my hand, I sniped the deer...!
“Versatile Entertainer!”
With Aqua’s magic I began to imitate the voice of the deer boss “Piiiiiiiiiiiii!”
Hearing that, the crowd of deer immediately turned my way.
“It’s a plan to distract the deer from Darkness. If Megumin’s spell is completed while I buy time, then...!”
“Hey, Kazuma, do you understand their language? They’re all staring.” Aqua grabbed my shoulders and shook me violently.
Looking closely, the deer were kicking the ground and ready to lunge.
What is this for real? What did I say?
When I once again imitated the voice “Piiiiii! Pyaaaaaaa!”
“I feel like they’re getting even angrier! Stop saying unnecessary things!”
“Sorry, it’s my fault! Do you understand spirit language but not deer language!”
The deer began to lunge as they shrieked. It’s bad!
“Damn it, we’re going to fall! Aqua, Megumin, get ready to jump!” I grabbed them both by the collar.
Megumin’s chanting finished at the same time, her body was extremely light, and pointed her staff towards the crowd of deer.
“EXPLOSION!”
“At a time like this, you’re soooooooooooooo good!”
The surrounding area was enveloped in a huge explosion!
Back at the guild, we received the reward from the receptionist.
“The ghost that was bothering the residents has been exterminated. It’s odd, but the request has been completed. Mr. Satou, thank you for your hard work!”
Megumin’s explosion blew away the crowd of deer and uprooted the nearby trees. The clearly furious Dryad wanted to continue to a second round, but...
“Hey, Kazuma. The reward was not worth it.” Aqua began to complain as she received her payment.
I managed to appease the angry dryad, but there was a catch…
“The dryad’s here because of Aqua, right? Wouldn’t it be fine to give her water occasionally? Besides, in return she’ll give us plants that have passed their natural lifespan.”
“That means I have to work hard to provide water, then collect plants. I’m like an errand boy for plant collectors!”
It ended. Although the expression “edible plants that have passed their natural life span” is not something I often hear, it is normal in this world.
After all, in this world, vegetables can fly, and kittens can spit fire.
“Fuaah... The request this time was extraordinary huh... Beasts filled with lust stripped me of my armor... Forest spirits gave verbal attacks... And lastly, I rolled on the ground because of the explosion magic…” In contrast to Aqua, Darkness felt very satisfied.
“I also feel satisfied because it’s been a long time since I’ve unleashed my magic on a group of monsters. I felt really relieved.”
Flying cabbage, giant toads, demon kings, even dragons.
“Kazuma, Kazuma.” Megumin showed a satisfied face while being carried by Darkness. “Tomorrow we will also go on an adventure together, right?”
I was a self-proclaimed otaku when I was in Japan, but...even though I was reborn in a fantasy world; I wanted to become a recluse again.
Notes:
In the original book the dryad (and another character later)'s speech is represented by using random Greek letters, as it would be too much of a pain to transcribe that, I just used simple geometrical symbols.
Credits
Feel free to translate this to other languages/ get in touch to further improve, just make sure as to include the credits section as included here. Thanks.
Konosuba Yorimichi Anthology Volume 2 by Natsume Akatsuki
Illustrations by Kurone Mishima
Published by Kadokawa Shoten on November 1st, 2020.
Original crappy translation by H. Berry.
Edited by Felinicity Bone.
Feel free to translate this to other languages/ get in touch to further improve, just make sure as to include the credits section as included here. Thanks.
Konosuba Yorimichi Anthology Volume 2 by Natsume Akatsuki
Illustrations by Kurone Mishima
Published by Kadokawa Shoten on November 1st, 2020.
Original crappy translation by H. Berry.
Edited by Felinicity Bone.
Edited chapter title image by u/artgold8 and @jacht_ny, images sent by Felinicity Bone.
Contents
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