The sun was setting, not quite dinner time yet.
I was drinking in the guild with some acquaintances, when a seemingly troubled Yunyun appeared.
“Oh, aren’t you Myunmyun! Myunmyun! Myunmyun!”
“Buahahaha, Kazuma can barely talk, wahahaha!”
“This guy is so drunk! He’s so small but drinks so fast! Who is Myunmyun! Who! Hahaha!”
The drunks started laughing loudly, I can’t remember how much I’ve drunk.
Myunmyun clenched her fist “I...! I... want to be as social as Kazuma!”
The entire guild suddenly got silent.
“Whu… Myunmyun! Social kills, child making, leave it to me!”
“Bwahahaha! What is this guy saying! Bwahahaha!”
“Stupid! Stupid! Hahahaha!”
Despite making such a fuss, Myunmyun looked at me with respect.
It all started because of Megumin.
“That hesitant nature of yours is really troublesome! You’re quite weird sometimes, why are you scared of a weak-looking girl!”
“W-W-We don’t know what the person we’re dealing with is like! Moreover, Megumin, measuring others as weak or strong is impolite!”
Walking around the city I came across the two crimson mages arguing. They call each other rivals, but looking at them like this they rather look like good friends.
“Just do it! Say ‘I want three layers, vanilla, banana, and neroid’!”
They were in front of an ice cream shop. Looks like Yunyun wants to buy ice cream for Megumin.
“O-Okay, I’m going! ... Umm, I’ve never bought ice cream before, is there a method to it...”
“Take out your money in front of the shop and say, ‘I want to buy a three layer ice cream. Vanilla, banana, and neroid’ that’s it! After that, order for you!” Megumin was pushing her.
Yunyun took out her purse and began to catch her breath “Wait Megumin, there’s a kid with his parents around! If I go to get ice cream, the kid will probably want too! It’ll be dinner time soon; the mother could get angry...”
“You’re overthinking things!”
Perhaps suspicious of the two, the family hurriedly left.
Yunyun was relieved and began to approach the shop “E-E-E-E-E-E-E-Excuse…”
“UGH! Excuse me; I want vanilla, banana, and neroid three-layer ice cream!”
“Welcome! What about the other miss?” Asked shop clerk, Yunyun hurriedly looked at the menu “S-S-S-S-S-S-S-Sorry, I haven’t decided what I want yet! I’ll come back in a few days...”
“Why are you getting so confused! Just order a recommendation!” Yunyun wanted to go home but Megumin stopped her.
The clerk chuckled “My recommendation is the fantastic neroid version! When you put a little pink neroid, it becomes more flavorful!”
“T-Then, please that one...”
“That’s an ice cream that I’ve never heard of before, is that okay?”
Yunyun looked puzzled after receiving the mysterious ice cream. Megumin’s eyes glittered as she received hers.
“Alright then, please pay.”
“Y-Yes, alright... Umm, is this enough?”
Yunyun was paying as Megumin took a bite of her triple-layer ice...
“Steeeeeeeeeaaaal!”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”
Sneaking up to them with my hiding skills I took Megumin’s ice cream using steal and took a bite out of it.
“This man! What are you doing?!”
I pointed at Megumin. “You! Blackmailing Yunyun, what are YOU doing! Behaving like this with the friendless Yunyun, ‘How about we eat ice cream with your money? Eating ice cream together makes up look like we’re friends’ Bet you got her by saying sweet things to her!”
“We had a competition! The loser treats the winner to ice cream, I won, that’s all! Moreover, even Yunyun wouldn’t be persuaded by such an invitation!”
“What?! ...U-Umm, if it’s for friends, just buying ice cream is not...” Yunyun shakily said as Megumin held Yunyun’s nervous shoulders.
“Because this girl is like this she is often used by Funifura, Dodonko and their friends! I, your rival, have the sole privilege of your treats, you can’t treat others!”
The mysterious ice cream that Yunyun was holding was shaking “A-Alright! Megumin stop, the ice cream I bought will fall!”
“Geez, Kazuma, who do you think I am...” Megumin snatched back the ice cream.
“...U-Unbelievable... When you live together even an indirect kiss becomes trivial...”
Megumin froze and started to blush as she was looking at her with respect.
“...W-We live under the same roof, we have bathed together, seen each other sleeping. I’ve even seen Kazuma’s thing...”
“Hey, don’t say more! Or I’m going to make you do that every day!”
Megumin was inexplicably trying to boast to Yunyun, then she took a bite of her ice cream and stepped back...
“Kazuma has many friends... If you...!” Yunyun was holding her still shaking ice cream and muttered strange words.
Part 2
Drunk out of my mind, I somehow agreed to teach Yunyun how to be more social.
The next day.
“...Umm, good morning?”
“G-G-Good morning!”
After drinking until late last night, I went home and fell sound asleep, because of that I ended up waking up rather early. “Have you’ve been waiting for me since yesterday?” When I went to the entrance to get the newspaper and breath some fresh air, I saw Yunyun waiting on the courtyard.
“I didn’t! It’s just that, since we haven’t set a time and day, I thought maybe if I come and wait every morning, when you’re free...”
“Creepy! So creepy! That’s why you don’t have any friends!”
While I was surprised, Yunyun hurriedly stood up “I-I have some friends! Don’t say I don’t have any!”
“...Give me a name then.”
To my rebuttal, while looking down, Yunyun tried to count on her fingers “Megumin..., my rival… that person in the village too is my friend, right? Arue sometimes sends strange novels and asks for my opinion; Funifura and Dodonko also often send letters asking if Megumin has a boyfriend...”
“Alright, you don’t have to say anything else. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to!” I had to stop Yunyun from torturing herself.
“As you can see I just woke up and am still in pajamas, can you give me a moment? It’s too early anyway, there’s no one around now, so we can’t do much.”
“Ta-Take it easy, I’m an expert at waiting. I will observe the anthill here.”
“Please wait inside!”
After changing my clothes, I could hear a ruckus from the living room.
“When I opened my eyes, I saw my rival sneaking into my house, this is a shock! Realizing that you can never defeat me you finally tried to attack me while I’m asleep, that’s despicable, Yunyun!”
“Wait, that’s not it…! But if you want to duel, there’s a match you’ve never won, body development!”
I brushed my teeth as I looked at the two arguing.
“You! When the situation is not in your favor, you immediately go into body development, so annoying! Such provocations won’t work anymore, let’s settle this seriously. Come on, on the pride of the Crimson Magic Clan we will compete at the risk of our lives...!”
“That shows the provocation was successful! I won’t compete with you; besides, I have no business with you today!”
As Megumin was transfixed by those words she noticed me as Yunyun greeted me “Kazuma, let’s go!”
Megumin was shocked and stayed rooted to the spot as I replied, “You said you wanted to make friends, but I’ll tell you this first, I’m not very popular.”
“...Wha…?”
Leaving the mansion, I had to clear up the misunderstanding. Yes, though I drank with the adventurers in the guild and somehow got into an odd shop. I was hikikomori, not because of social anxiety; but compared to most people, I’m not the type of person who can talk easily with strangers.
“If I’m not with someone close to me, or it’s just me, I’ll get confused about what to say. That’s why, when I meet with strangers, I bring a friend along.”
“Me too! If I’m with another person I really want to talk, but if it’s just me talking I don’t want to seem impolite and to not interrupt them I always pay close attention to their mouths.”
So that’s why she stares when people talk. It’s a little strange.
“If it’s with someone I just met, I tend to be extremely formal, we can’t form a party because I keep calling them ‘Miss’ or ‘Mister’.”
I felt a tingling sensation from the back of my neck “Yunyun, is there someone who has a grudge with you? My enemy detection skill is sensing something.”
“Grudge? I remember all the people I’ve ever spoken to, no grudges. I’d like to have a grudge so I could get involved with someone...”
This girl should be in rehabilitation; otherwise, she will end up doing bad things just to attract people’s attention.
“Let’s go over there and hide with my stealth skill. You can use magic. We’ll confuse the enemy and catch him.”
“Magic attacks inside the city are forbidden... But, being asked for help by someone, being relied on by others is amazing. It’s forbidden but I won’t hesitate.”
Seriously, she needs to be rehabilitated as soon as possible. If not, she’ll taken advantage of by bad people in the future.
When the enemy appeared…
“Lightning!”
“Aaaaaaaaaaah?!”
... Receiving Yunyun’s magic, a red-eyed brat fell over and started twitching....
“Yikes, you two! Luckily that magic attack was against an extremely powerful archwizard, had it been an ordinary person, Yunyun would have become a criminal!” After recovering from the attack, Megumin began to grumble in front of us.
“Megumin, why are you following us? Are you angry that I used the lottery ticket you got? Aqua took it and used it without knowing. If you want to complain, do it to her.”
“No, not for such an insignificant reason... Wait a minute, what did you say?!” Megumin started to shake me, she tended to get all kinds of lottery and discount tickets for savings.
“Yes, sorry, I’ll give you the dishwashing brush that Aqua won with it.”
“I don’t need that! If you’d used it, we’d gotten good stuff, if you want to give something, give me that! ... No, it’s not about that!”
I very much used the ticket, and even won the grand prize. It was a free coupon from the best shop in town, Megumin wouldn’t been able to use it anyway.
“This morning I saw my easily fooled rival going out with a villain, I had to follow her.”
“I’ll show you how villainous I can be!”
As Megumin and I threatened each other, Yunyun hurriedly stopped us “Wait Megumin, I asked for his help! I’ll change! Kazuma will help me to make friends!”
“That’s not something you can learn quickly. It’s important to remain patient and move forward step by step. Before relying on Kazuma, how about you try befriending the goblins outside town.” A wearily Megumin replied to Yunyun.
Such cruelty.
“I’ve tried. I learnt their language familiarized myself with them, but they said, ‘Red eyes scary. Very dangerous.’ And ran away...”
Geez, even goblins fear the Crimson Magic Clan.
“Then try with kobolds, or with ogres that understand human language.”
“I tried with kobolds, but they just took the meat I gave them and ran away. When I tried talking to ogres, they challenged me to a duel and when I won, instead of becoming friends they became my subordinates...”
It’s too late for her…
Megumin shook her head as she sighed “Geez, despite trying so hard. ...What can I do? I’ll help you make friends.”
She said that Yunyun was a rival, but she couldn’t just leave her, and said ‘geez’ with such an endearing attitude...
“There’s no need! Besides, Megumin, even if you say that, you don’t have any friends either...” Yunyun was tackled by Megumin as she said that.
“It’s not difficult. If I get into it, making hundreds of friends isn’t a problem. Slumber parties, birthday parties, all kinds of parties and even more situations. Trust me.”
“I will join the Kazuma cult!”
“This girl is saying stupid things again! Kazuma don’t show that creepy happy face!
Part 3
We arrived at a place where there were many people; I turned to look at Yunyun. A very strong and very beautiful Crimson Magic girl.
“...Umm, why are you staring at me like that?”
It’s very odd that nobody approached her, so...
“I was just curious whether someone has flirted with you before.” Yes, even if it’s impossible for her to make friends, I think she can get a boyfriend.
“Flirted? No, I’ve never had an experience like that...”
“Kazuma, Kazuma, anyone speaking to her would make her eyes spark with happiness, even if it was a loser punk!”
To be clear, while the easy-going Yunyun is 100% reliable; her crimson mage characteristics make her difficult to approach, even goblins were wary of her, isn’t that reason she’s a loner...?
“A friendship is something that forms naturally. That’s why I think you need to meet more people.”
“Friends are not made, but naturally formed relationships... Those words are very important to me, I will engrave them in my heart.”
Is she really okay...?
Then, a female warrior who sometimes pass by us in the adventurer’s guild showed up.
“Steal!” I unhesitatingly use my Steal skill and snatched her bra.
“......??????????!!!!!!!!!! Why?! Why did you do that?! Did I do something to anger Trashzuma!?”
“N-No...! No wait, there’s a reason! I intended to get a handkerchief or something...!” I apologized sincerely to the female warrior while returning her clothes.
Megumin nodded impressed “I understand, that’s a bad way to do it, but it triggers an encounter.”
“You didn’t mean to teach me to do this kind of thing, did you?”
I was somehow forgiven, while watching the female warrior leave; I explained the situation to the two of them “That was a failure, don’t worry about it. What I wanted to do was steal an accessory and then call her out with ‘You dropped this’.”
“I honestly thought it was no good, but now I’ve understood that leaving it to Kazuma was no good either. Here, I, the number one genius of the Crimson Magic Clan, will provide knowledge.”
“I’m also a genius of the Crimson Magic Clan...”
Megumin looked around, observing passers-by, she suddenly rushed over to a girl who was not looking around and clashed with her.
“So-Sorry! I-I wasn’t paying attention to the road...” The girl bent her body unsteadily.
“My goodness, where are your eyes! Fortunately, I’m a high-level adventurer, had you hit a weak ordinary person, they might have exploded!”
“Eh?! We got hit lightly...!”
Megumin got closer to the frightened girl “If you feel a little guilty, then let’s go have tea at that shop over there! I won’t ask you to treat me, just tell me the food you’d recommend!”
“U-Umm... If that’s all, it would be my pleasure...”
“Wait, why is this going so smoothly, that’s cheating!” “Why are you so experienced?! Do you always do this?! Could it be you really have a lot of friends...” Megumin easily got to drink tea with the girl, Yunyun and I reflexively complained.
Seriously, I didn’t expect her to have this level of social skills...
Megumin showed a proud face “Well, that means I won, right?”
“I don’t know why we’re competing to persuade a girl, but if it’s like that I won’t lose. I can’t get a date, but I can get a drinking buddy. I’ll show you my serious side!”
“...Umm, there’s no need for that, please how do I get friends...”
I’ll be frank, Yunyun has such a pretty face that if she tries to make conversation, there will be many men who’ll fall for her. But if she doesn’t choose well, she’ll be taken advantage and her future will be a disaster.
Searching for a harmless man...
“You two, look at that. What do you think of them?”
“I think you should report them to the police immediately.” Seeing the three men at the end of our sight, Megumin quickly answered.
“U-Umm, they looks like men who likes little kids...”
“Yunyun, one of your good points is that you’re considerate of others, but at times like this do you have to speak the truth?! Those are the so-called criminal seeds, you know!”
The men at the end of our gaze were looking warmly at the small children playing in the park.
“Megumin, calm down. They must have the heart of an older brother, there’s nothing wrong with that.”
“I just see as bad adults. ...Right, Kazuma, you were into younger girls.”
This girl, what did she say!?
“Listen carefully Megumin. Yunyun’s eyes can make her scary, but she is pretty. The people there don’t care about that, if she’s pretty they’ll take her.”
“I don’t understand whether I’m being praised or humbled...”
I understand the deal with the people there, they enjoy playing with kids as do many otakus in Japan have good hearts, but because they act in rather creepy ways, they are looked down and rejected by society.
The other members of the Crimson Magic Clan look down Yunyun, so she lost her confidence and became shy. In other words, those men and Yunyun are the same, colleagues who understand the pain of being hurt by others, I’m sure they’ll get along well...!
“Yunyun, trust me. They will definitely fall for it, if you’re confident I’m sure they’ll be easy to get. Moreover, if you share the same interests you’ll talk at length.”
“I see, somehow it’s similar to you, Kazuma. If I’m not mistaken, when we met, you couldn’t look at Darkness directly and had a suspicious behavior, but because you share interests you get along now.”
This girl, what did she say!?
“I have moved on from being hikikomori and otaku. But I understand their feelings. Even though they say they don’t need a real woman, if they are called out by a pretty girl, they will definitely feel happy. Look Yunyun, they are easily hurt, so approach them as if you would a little kid. Don’t forget to smile kindly... Alright, let’s go!”
“O-Okay! Looking carefully, they have pretty eyes, seems like they are indeed good people...” Yunyun made up her mind and approached the men.
From behind them hiding in the bushes, Yunyun nervously tried to call out to them “Ex-Excuse me...”
“......?! W-W-W-What, what’s wrong? I was just watching wild birds.”
“I was just looking for the money I dropped around here.”
“We’re not looking at those little kids! Do you have any proof that we were!?” The men were beginning to panic just by being called out.
Yunyun hurriedly shook her hand “N-N-No! I didn’t come to warn you off!”
At that, the panicked men turned their faces away and fell silent.
With her face flushed, probably remembering what I said, Yunyun began to smile “U-Umm... If you’re free, do you want...”
“Free?! We are in charge of keeping the children playing from getting hurt.” The embarrassed men made me feel ashamed of my naivety.
“N-No...! I-I just thought it seemed a good idea to be friends with you...”
“Friends?! Haha, because we don’t seem to be popular, you called us in a condescending tone. Thinking that if you talk to us, we’d obey! Well, we’re not like that!”
Yes, I was completely wrong, sorry Yunyun.
“You’re wrong! Umm, the person who told me how to talk with you said that no bad people like little kids, so I was wondering if you’d be willing to talk to me...”
“…Are you trying to blackmail us? We have no money. So that those little kids don’t get hurt, we fixed the playground equipment; our money went straight to that.”
Yunyun chuckled with a surprised look on her face “You seem to be good people. Taking care of children is noble, can I help?”
“No way, you’re too big anyway. We four can’t hide bushes at once. Moreover, women over the age of 15 are no longer pure, I don’t want to get close to them.”
I made a mistake; these people are the worst.
Yunyun eyes were glistening red with excitement at that criminal scum and desperately said “I’m still 14 years old!”
“That’s a lie! How could a 14-year-old be that big?!”
“Caught lying, this is what a mature woman looks like! Come back after you fix those tits!”
“Even if you’re really 14, a double-digit age is a no go for me!”
Megumin and I nodded at each other and shouted.
“POLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE!”
Part 4
My masterplan failed.
Megumin started talking enthusiastically “Kazuma thinks too much. Things like this can’t be done by just thinking.”
“A self-proclaimed genius has no right to say that!”
Led by Megumin, we arrived at Axel’s entrance.
“We are adventurers. It’s better to be friends with other adventurers, right? Besides, if you have friends with the profession, you can form a party and run quests together.”
Yunyun’s eyes sparkled at Megumin’s comments, she nodded “I understand. We’ll watch as adventurers fight giant frogs from afar, then when they’re about to be eaten, we’ll swoop in and save them, leaving them indebted to us!”
“I didn’t had suck wicked thoughts! If you help adventurers in distress, you can befriend them naturally! If a rookie is having troubles with frogs, then they must not have many friends. We’re targeting those who don’t have anyone to rely on.”
Wait, why did Yunyun thought of the typical swindler plan?
“Hold on Yunyun, that sounds convoluted and depending on the situation, it may even have the opposite effect.”
One of the Crimson Magic archwizard here usually saves novice adventures outside town, but…
“Yunyun already does that, but after saving them she simply leaves without any thanks. That’s when you should ask for a reward...”
“I-it’s just that I think I did something unnecessary and they could’ve beaten the monsters themselves...”
Yes, the reason why she can’t make friends is because of this, she pays too much attention to things that don’t matter.
Megumin is the complete opposite from her, that’s probably the reason they get along so well.
“Look Yunyun, be confident! If they have common sense, even if it’s not a critical situation, just being saved by a beautiful mage will make them happy!”
“This time, even if I save someone, I won’t run away! I will accept their gratitude!”
Megumin and I were getting demoralized while Yunyun was nodding...
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
Yunyun may be used to this as she swiftly helped a couple of adventurers from being eaten.
“Are you okay? Umm, is anyone hurt?”
I don’t think I’ve seen them before, are they newbies?
“Y-Yes, we’re fine? We were surprised by the frog’s size because we’re new to the city...”
“Hehe, you’re strong! We were the strongest in our home village and thought of making money by becoming adventurers. We were just surprised by that frog, if we were serious, we could’ve defeated it easily!” Perhaps they wanted to seem strong in front of the girls as both started to boast.
“Doesn’t seem the case from how you were shouting. More importantly, thank her. After all, it was Yunyun who defeated the frog, pay for your rescue.” Megumin extended her hand asking for payment.
It seemed that they could not honestly thank her, in Megumin’s eyes they must’ve not been suitable friends for Yunyun.
“What?! What are you saying, we said that we weren’t in trouble. That frog would’ve been defeated in no time.”
“We weakened it, you just finished it off, if anything she should be paying us for the experience we couldn’t get!”
There are people like this, Yunyun saving someone and leaving right away probably isn’t too bad sometimes. I can see what will happen next, the irritable Megumin will attack these rookies.
“Is that so? Then fine. We did something unnecessary.”
“Wha…?” Megumin’s remark seems to have surprised, not only them but Yunyun too.
“Nice! Then we’ll sell the frog’s meat in town and take the reward, we’ll let you go with the experience just this time!”
“Yes, please go ahead... Yunyun, let’s go.”
“Y-Yes... Megumin, what’s with you quietly withdrawing like that? Ah...?!” As if realizing something, Yunyun raised her voice, then to my curiosity, she began to whisper “Could it be that you thought that if you went berserk, it’d be a problem with me making friends, so you held back...”
“No, even though you’ve been with her for a long time, you still don’t understand her true nature.”
She took that as an invitation for a fight. She’s the most volatile in Axel, there was no way she would calmly withdraw after what they said.
Yunyun approached her hopefully, “Hey, Megumin... The reason you didn’t fight with them could be...”
Rather than answering the question Megumin was casting magic. At the end of her sight were the two adventurers cheering in front of the defeated frog...
“No, no way!”
“EXPLOSION!”
The adventurers were knocked away by the shockwave. Yunyun hurriedly approached them as they didn’t understand what happened.
“A-Are you okay? Forgive my colleague, she’s a weirdo!”
The two began to stand unsteadily as Yunyun helped them “Y-You’ve really done it! I’ll report this to the adventurer’s guild...” “The guild staff will scold you! If you make even one wrong move, this...”
They were trying to argue with Megumin but fell silent upon seeing the crater caused by the explosion.
That’s when a frog popped out of the ground, perhaps awoken by the blast.
As more frogs appeared, Megumin, her face flat on the ground, said “Oh, you were so overconfident in your strength! Attracted by my magic power more monsters appeared! If you don’t need Yunyun’s help, then take them out!”
“Why are you always like this!!”
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MEGUMIN!”
All the adventurers in the vicinity, except Megumin, combined their forces and faced the hordes of frogs.
After being scolded in the adventurer’s guild, we finally arrived home.
“We’re home.”
“Welcome home!” Aqua greeted us and sighed upon seeing the slime covered Megumin.
“Smelly! Megumin and Yunyun, you’re slimy! The bathroom is empty, hurry up! Put your clothes on the basket. That frog slime is hard to remove even with the power of a goddess. I’ll wash them after soaking them.” Aqua was laying newspaper on the carpet while a tired looking Yunyun carried Megumin on her back.
“Sorry... Umm, don’t you want to know what happened?” A curious Yunyun asked Darkness, as she was making dinner.
“Megumin made a mess, and you were attacked by a horde of frogs, right? If anything, else happened Kazuma would have told me right away.”
“Oh, are you that eager to get covered in this frog slime? You are only safe because you are making dinner.” Darkness showed an expectant face towards Megumin’s warning.
Yunyun once again lowered her head “So-Sorry... This wasn’t Megumin’s fault... Umm, it’s okay if I don’t bathe here, after all the bathhouse is usually open at this time...”
“Yunyun, don't worry about it, it's only 10% your fault, the majority of it is Megumin's and she's already sorry. So just relax and take a bath. I've been with her for a while, I know her quite well.” Aqua kindly said to the humble Yunyun.
“Oh, Aqua’s not cooking tonight! There’s no reason I shouldn’t cover you in slime!”
Megumin jumped off Yunyun’s back and left Aqua crying and covered in slime, Darkness smiled “Yunyun you can come eat with us after bathing. How about staying over tonight? That’s right, how about we do that so-called slumber party together? That’d be fun!”
At those words, Yunyun’s eyes glistened red with happiness.
Credits
Feel free to translate this to other languages/ get in touch to further improve, just make sure as to include the credits section as included here. Thanks.
Konosuba Yorimichi Anthology Volume 2 by Natsume Akatsuki
Illustrations by Kurone Mishima
Published by Kadokawa Shoten on November 1st, 2020.
Original crappy translation by H. Berry.
Edited by Felinicity Bone.
Feel free to translate this to other languages/ get in touch to further improve, just make sure as to include the credits section as included here. Thanks.
Konosuba Yorimichi Anthology Volume 2 by Natsume Akatsuki
Illustrations by Kurone Mishima
Published by Kadokawa Shoten on November 1st, 2020.
Original crappy translation by H. Berry.
Edited by Felinicity Bone.
Edited chapter title image by u/artgold8 and @jacht_ny, images sent by Felinicity Bone.
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